Let's give this a shot.
Life is not Vogue, it is not a box of chocolates. It isn't all beautiful, and it definitely does hurt... But I'm here because regardless of all the crazy junk I have gone through, I have faith that everything will get better. Granted, I am no longer that child who harbors delusional illusions about the future. I think I learned a lot of things along the way that provided tools to deal with this new, "more mature" way of seeing things. However, I am still a child of the world with zest for life and a fixation for the unknown. I have come to see that it is going to take a little while for me to get where I want to go, but I am patient and I will get through this. I am persistent enough, and I work hard.
My name is Nica Leelah, I am a visual explorer who dreams, dreams, and dreams. I want to do so much throughout my life that I wonder how I am going to achieve it all. The simplest of my wishes include:
- Learning to express myself artistically through a camera.
- Finding my sister soul, which must be floating somewhere.
- Getting a job I enjoy.
- Sharing my journals, sketchbooks, and artwork more.
At least these are currently the most important to me. I do not like where I live; I wish I could escape this tropical island. Its insular nature makes me feel as if even my house is a jail, as lavish as it is. Everybody here thinks me crazy for feeling like this, but I know that they would understand if they had to stare at the same four walls day in and day out. It isn't healthy, I can not even exercise my social skills unless I do it online... Which is like 4% human interaction, really?
I want to document this journey, and I want to do it right, damnit. Here comes a whirlwind of tormented thoughts, lyrical musings, and imagery.