TAROT AND SOUR ROMANCE

When I get the popular question, does he love me? Logic weighs over the heart and over metaphysical science when it comes to circumstances like these. I quickly settle back in place when I remind myself that each situation is different, and that there are several outside factors that influence that situation. When this happens, it takes some serious restraint from turning the tarot reading session into a therapeutic session. I jokingly ask myself if I should be a web therapist instead, but when it comes to clients, I give them my very best unbiased opinion. This is what they come to me for, after all! There are a series of question that one can ask to better assess the situation.

Does he look to you for support?
Would he introduce you to his closest friends and family?
Does he include you in his future plans?
Does he contact you once a day, week or month?

[If it is once an hour or less, you should probably make a run for it...!]

I used to ask myself the same question, but in a much, much lighter tone: Is he attracted to me mentally and physically? Would he want to date me? It certainly weighs less than does he love me? And now for an illustrated sample of a massive shipwreck that I accidentally caused once:

His name will be withheld for privacy so I'll just call him Rocky. I have cringed time and time again when I remember this situation, but here's an honest attempt at cleaning out some skeletons from the past: Rocky was one of the school's most successful students. As an art enthusiast, he was immersed in the world of forums and figure modeling sessions. He also curated the most popular event in the school next to the Best of Ringling event. I was star struck with his talent, and I crushed on him hardcore from the beginning of the second semester of my freshman year until the second semester of my sophomore year. In many ways he was an inspiration, a motivational role model; but to me he was primarily toxic. I remember going out of my way to catch glimpses of Rocky's work in progress. I wished for his attention for all the wrong reasons. It took me an extra six months after I crushed on Rocky to realize my mistake, but by then it was too late to mend the damage. I had messed things up royally, beyond the ever-popular friendship status. It wasn't always such a failure; I had my chance for about three months, before I blew it with my immaturity.

Instead of just enjoying it day by day, I tried to force it to be something that it was never going to be, and that was my big mistake. Sometimes we forget the fine line linking possessiveness to will. The time we spend with our romantic partners is privileged because they allow us the privilege of sharing their lives with us, just as we do with them. I say privilege because it isn't mandatory for them to be with us, and yet they choose to. Sometimes we get so excited about the prospect of having someone amazing in our lives that we forget to ask ourselves if we can nurture them the same way that they nurture us. Taking chemistry, interest and time management into consideration is very important when it comes to dating other people. Getting to know each other is an initial test stage, and if you don't make it further, you shouldn't be hard on yourself! I wish I would have been conscious of that back then. In wanting it so badly, I annihilated the chance of ever keeping Rocky around as a friend. I swear that the last couple of times I saw Rocky in person, he couldn't have distanced himself any faster. It was almost as if he was running to safety! I laugh about it now, but the stigma remains. The mistake I made is a lesson well learned!

I address my clients and readers humbly, and ask the following: Next time you've found a good match you're into, don't try to force it into romance. Resistance generates pain, and possessiveness accelerates a relationship from the development stage straight into the stagnation stage. If you want to share the fun highlights of your life with somebody else, wait until they're at the same level of infatuation. If they take too long to catch up, move on from the idea before the friendship goes sour!

That was liberating. I have harbored these sentiments for years, but until now, I had no idea about what I could do with them. Today, my wilted experience stands as an example of a sure way to distance another from my life. I learned the hard way, but now I have a man close that cherishes me and delights in my quirky company. It was worth the Dark Age after all!
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12 comments:

  1. " If you want to share the fun highlights of your life with somebody else, wait until they're at the same level of infatuation. If they take too long to catch up, move on from the idea before the friendship goes sour!"
    QFT
    Nice post catsy

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  2. Thanks Pete!

    Sometimes it's hard, most of the time it just requires stepping back and looking at the whole picture.

    Let's meet up soon. I owe you a tarot reading!

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  3. Yea u do :P

    ...and it is hard(no sexual reference intended), we're all victims of perception after all

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  4. Lol!

    True story. Let me know when you're free, next week is Thanksgiving, but we're set for something for sure! How about ice cream and tarot? We can follow up on our ice cream dates from the past!

    ♡♡

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  5. We should, tarot instead of Rock Band this time :P

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  6. HA! Or BlazBlu... But yeah, tarot looks like a worthy substitute.

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  7. Honey reading your story inspires for my story began when I met my beloved Superman 2003 it was instant attraction I was loaded my footy team lost his won hmmmmm what a hottie I thought then we ended up starting a 2month amazing steady relationship I could never get enough of him. Tragedy struck in July of that year when I severely had a nervous breakdown and decided to take me own life, me and superman were over and it broke my heart then I realized I had been expecting, too late it was gone. I never contacted Super Man because by friends whom I thought were friends told me he was gone and never wanted me in his life again. Low and behold 3 years later I bump into him and it was like he had never left me apologies how I was you no the usual but he was still as gorgeous as ever his brown hazel eyes his sexy smile, so I ws hitting overseas for a few months I kindly took hs number and said I would contact him, when I got back. I never did I met up with someone else started a romance for near 3 years which I failed to stay in because my love for Superman never stopped. I feel I lost him so when I finally met up with him we hit it of you no the usual fire but then we fell out and ended up hating each other I then fired the hose by telling him some home truths, 2 years later he mailed me after all the pain and suffering he put me threw then I allowed him back into my life, I have never loved another man in my entire lifetime and never will. We never made it I tried so so hard but I was never good enough, there was always little demons in the way so I finally let him go, were 06 months over next monday and it has been the most pain ful 06 months of my life so Samhain I know how you feel sweetie and its so hard, but im stronger now and from your love spread you gave me im soo looking forward to the future and winning finally my King Of Hearts Back, I know im The Queen because there is not another me ever in the world that would have loved a man as long and I do believe in 111111 and Im prayed out that my wish will soon come true thanks so much for the reading once again and defo back when The King Returns for more info hugs always xxxxxxxx

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  8. Keep your chin up, stay hoping for the best!
    xx

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  9. Well defo cant give up on him now after all this :)

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  10. Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no.

    wyoming women

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  11. Hmm, I'm glad I stumbled on this story as I relate to it a lot right now :)

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