FROM NOTORIOUS PLAYGIRL TO... IN A RELATIONSHIP!?

THOUGHTS ON ROMANTIC TENDENCIES...
The day is finally near, and so ends my stage of denial. There is a personal story I want to share with my Samhain Moon readers concerning the past. Although I dwell in the present, — and sometimes in the future — there are elements of my past that have spilled onto the present. Those influences are helping to shape my future, whether short term or long term. I have always believed in flourishing while basking in romance, especially when you find the right one. It's good for you! When you are in love, your goals are more probable because you are more motivated. There is so much intensity in sharing the highlights of your life with somebody else, working as a team, and building the foundation for a bright future. To me, that notion used to feel as if it was out of my reach. I wanted a prosperous relationship but I didn't realize that my romantic interests didn't. They had other aspirations, and their goals didn't include me.



Before I engaged in my current relationship, the dynamics of my romances were very different. In my days as a bachelorette I was fearless as well as risky, but above all things I was untameable. Don't ask me how, but ever since the breakup from my first ever boyfriend in the 10th grade, I successfully — and also unsuccessfully — dated multiple partners at a time. I was a little broken from losing my longest lasting relationship of one year and two months to my best friend. After this I had trouble committing to just one partner, and it isn't hard to imagine why. I wouldn't say that they weren't enough, I'll just leave it at the fact that I didn't receive nurturing from any of them. I enjoyed meeting and dating people too much to settle down, and many of my partners felt the same way. I think that the tendency started as I realized that the people I was dating were also dating other people at the same time. In hindsight, I think that I probably did the right thing. Years of teenage and early adulthood aren't suited to be settling down. With the continuous crushes and nightmarish obsessions I experienced, I scared one too many great visionaries from my life. With the tendency of getting entangled — and having horrid fall outs — witch people that I still really admire and miss dearly. [I hope that one day you'll forgive me!]

Regardless of all the damage, these almost lovers and failed romances all influenced me in one way or another. Even if I had the habit of dating a number of them at once wouldn't really have bothered them, I am also glad the majority of them didn't find out! Those were necessary stages for me to get over the trauma I suffered at the age of 15 — a trauma that wouldn't allow me to live a healthy romantic life up until now. Regardless of the context, I shared many wonderful moments with certain individuals, and I respect them. Good times... I can't say I didn't explore possibilities while I was having fun! A great thing from my experiences in that I managed to identify patterns of my behavior as well as compatible aspects v.s. things I wasn't so comfortable with. I tried obsessive relationships, open relationships, and a whole lot of gray areas before I got to where I am now.

Shortly before my final year of college, I met a mysterious artist online. We kept in touch increasingly through October 2009, sharing creative aspirations as well as social occurrences. When I got back from college in the summer of 2010, we started dating casually, and in November 27, 2011, he asked me to be his Bone Queen! The magnetism that drew us together prevented me from fully pursuing additional affairs, and what a relief it has been! It hasn't stopped difficult situations from trying to wreck our foundation for a future, but we have managed to protect each other thus far. It's nice to have someone looking after you the same way you look after them.  We came to the realization it's not just him. It's not just me, either. It's us. We're a team now, just like my little lovebirds, Sun and Moon!

One night as we both lay entangled in bed, I told him that I felt I had been fixed from my romantic debaucheries. He asked me if my latest romantic partner had done so, but after disclosing intimate adventures to him, I told him he was the one that fixed me. It was a strange realization to have and even stranger to confide, but it was well received. To all the naysayers: J and I are very happy, and we won't be torn apart by anything... or anyone. Not any time soon, at least!

We celebrate our first anniversary with nothing but love and dreams between us. I love you, Bone King.
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THANKSGIVING 2012

THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR:
My 1st anniversary with Jean. Its been years since I have been committed to somebody for this long. This is an unforeseen and heavily welcomed welcomed accomplishment in my romantic life. Through numerous obstacles, we have managed to preserve our love for each other. It's wonderful! I can very honestly say that I have never before felt this cared for!

My professional advances. In the past year, I branded 8 lines of product. 76 unique packages total, and they are actively distributed and advertised in the media. I have been my polytechnic logo on huge billboards, on bus stops, in the newspaper, and even on t.v.! This experience has been very humbling for me.

A mention in Perspectives magazine. Although I work like an ant, my identity has usually been withdrawn from the public eye. The Ringling College Design Center magazine for alumni mentioned me! What an honor! It feels so good to see it down on paper!

My career in the world of metaphysics. In the past year I have worked ardently on a new online persona for myself as a psychic tarot consultant. The satisfaction that this journey has brought me is significant because of the impact that it has on others as well as on me.

An amazing year. What an amazing period! All it took was some adjustment, then things started to go smoothly and securely. I have met and collaborated/worked alongside amazing people. Somewhere along the way, I found my voice as an artist and as a designer. Now I'm ready to create a body of work that best represents it.



Friends. Last but definitely not least, I am thankful to my friends and family that stick it our with me through thick and thin. I am surrounded by all the love and support I could best hope for! Where would I be without you guys? I just can't imagine a life in this world without the fabulous people that I have met. Spending time with them allows me to appreciate them as well as their intellectual and emotional contributions. Thank you everyone!



I have been hoarding these pictures greedily for the past month. This seemed like the perfect time to post them! Meet Pedro and Pierre, two cool cats that I really appreciate! Pedro and I have been friends for a little over 6 years now, we met through the industrial music scene of Puerto Rico. He is a loyal friend and a wonderful, enigmatic intellectual! As for Pierre, I met him through Pedro. Pierre is a French bohemian poet; he delights in traveling and pouring his musings into diaries. He is the sweetest!



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TAROT AND SOUR ROMANCE

When I get the popular question, does he love me? Logic weighs over the heart and over metaphysical science when it comes to circumstances like these. I quickly settle back in place when I remind myself that each situation is different, and that there are several outside factors that influence that situation. When this happens, it takes some serious restraint from turning the tarot reading session into a therapeutic session. I jokingly ask myself if I should be a web therapist instead, but when it comes to clients, I give them my very best unbiased opinion. This is what they come to me for, after all! There are a series of question that one can ask to better assess the situation.

Does he look to you for support?
Would he introduce you to his closest friends and family?
Does he include you in his future plans?
Does he contact you once a day, week or month?

[If it is once an hour or less, you should probably make a run for it...!]

I used to ask myself the same question, but in a much, much lighter tone: Is he attracted to me mentally and physically? Would he want to date me? It certainly weighs less than does he love me? And now for an illustrated sample of a massive shipwreck that I accidentally caused once:

His name will be withheld for privacy so I'll just call him Rocky. I have cringed time and time again when I remember this situation, but here's an honest attempt at cleaning out some skeletons from the past: Rocky was one of the school's most successful students. As an art enthusiast, he was immersed in the world of forums and figure modeling sessions. He also curated the most popular event in the school next to the Best of Ringling event. I was star struck with his talent, and I crushed on him hardcore from the beginning of the second semester of my freshman year until the second semester of my sophomore year. In many ways he was an inspiration, a motivational role model; but to me he was primarily toxic. I remember going out of my way to catch glimpses of Rocky's work in progress. I wished for his attention for all the wrong reasons. It took me an extra six months after I crushed on Rocky to realize my mistake, but by then it was too late to mend the damage. I had messed things up royally, beyond the ever-popular friendship status. It wasn't always such a failure; I had my chance for about three months, before I blew it with my immaturity.

Instead of just enjoying it day by day, I tried to force it to be something that it was never going to be, and that was my big mistake. Sometimes we forget the fine line linking possessiveness to will. The time we spend with our romantic partners is privileged because they allow us the privilege of sharing their lives with us, just as we do with them. I say privilege because it isn't mandatory for them to be with us, and yet they choose to. Sometimes we get so excited about the prospect of having someone amazing in our lives that we forget to ask ourselves if we can nurture them the same way that they nurture us. Taking chemistry, interest and time management into consideration is very important when it comes to dating other people. Getting to know each other is an initial test stage, and if you don't make it further, you shouldn't be hard on yourself! I wish I would have been conscious of that back then. In wanting it so badly, I annihilated the chance of ever keeping Rocky around as a friend. I swear that the last couple of times I saw Rocky in person, he couldn't have distanced himself any faster. It was almost as if he was running to safety! I laugh about it now, but the stigma remains. The mistake I made is a lesson well learned!

I address my clients and readers humbly, and ask the following: Next time you've found a good match you're into, don't try to force it into romance. Resistance generates pain, and possessiveness accelerates a relationship from the development stage straight into the stagnation stage. If you want to share the fun highlights of your life with somebody else, wait until they're at the same level of infatuation. If they take too long to catch up, move on from the idea before the friendship goes sour!

That was liberating. I have harbored these sentiments for years, but until now, I had no idea about what I could do with them. Today, my wilted experience stands as an example of a sure way to distance another from my life. I learned the hard way, but now I have a man close that cherishes me and delights in my quirky company. It was worth the Dark Age after all!
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11:11:11

WHAT IS IT ABOUT REPEATED DIGITS THAT CATCHES OUR ATTENTION?
In the world of metaphysics, double dates stand for portals opening and manifesting. These portals unblock and activate various types of energy, which in turn cause many turning points in the universe. These are times of action and opportunities to unblock the energy that you feel has been holding you back. Your life is witnessing significant changes that intensify in this important date. Most psychics have published broadcasts focusing on world events, particularly in the financial status of the economy. I respect said broadcasts, but prefer to focus on matters of emotions and social influences. By extension, I see 11:11 as a chance to turn things around for the better, and as an opportunity for advances in self-empowerment.

Since 11:11 falls under the Sun in Scorpio, there are physical manifestations of mystery and of underlying emotions. As such, situations without proper closure are those that resurface and come to your attention. It is a chance to close off some chapters that have not yet concluded. Scorpios are water signs, which makes them changeable as well as emotional. Scorpios have a tendency of keeping to extremes; extremely shy, outspoken, serious, charismatic (and attention-seeking,) pretentious, and brooding. The one suggestion I have in dealing with this Scorpio energy is to evade their wrath at all costs. A scorned Scorpio is worse than an enraged Aries (ram) or charging Taurus (bull).

Speaking of bulls, it is worth mentioning that the full moon in 18º 04  Taurus is on 11:11. This makes the enigmatic energy of Scorpio aggressive and headstrong as well as stable. It signifies a time to talk about matters that have been placed in secondary importance with your partners. Due to the nature of the energies flowing, those conversations might be heated and passionate, but the resolution that they bring is satisfying.They just might take a while to adjust to.

If you haven't already noticed, the Age of Aquarius brings with it free thinkers and clairvoyants in high numbers. All the changes of the past decades have been building up to the present moment. Metaphysics have gone from being totally obscure in the past few years to being widely accessible in bookstores as well as on the internet. While the practice isn't popular, it is more common to see teenagers and college students studying the teachings of the tarot and other fortune-telling mediums. Business men and women seek financial advice from tarot readers, and so do various other demographic groups. People are seeking knowledge and enlightenment, to spread out the truth, and to reach new bounds after sacrificing ideas from the past and deeming them as obsolete.

SO WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT AT 11|11|11 11:11 A.M. AND P.M.?
Keywords for this day include: foresight, speaking, divinity, healing, empowerment, dreams, sacrifices, and water energy. If you are looking to unblock the flow of energy, this will be the time to do it.
Wishmaking: It is ideal to have a candle lit adorned with pictures and petitions.
Sacrifices: Offer something in return for the benefits you seek. Make it count!

Changes don't come immediately. They take time to manifest and develop. Remember that!
IN THE DAY:
Attract. Use the warm energy of the sun in Scorpio to ask for meaningful changes at 11:11 A.M. Employ the use of a white candle, sweet spices, photos and a list of petitions. You may ask for energies to be unblocked, for stages to end and new cycles to commence. Ask for blessings, give blessings, and wish for your aspirations to come true quicker.

DURING THE NIGHT:
Distance. Use the cool full moon in Taurus to spring aggressive changes into effect on 11:11 P.M. This includes distancing toxic relationships and problematic people from your life. Employ the use of a black candle, tangy and bitter spices, photos and a list of petitions. Ask for people who are causing you difficulties, enemies, rivals, and other unwanted energies to leave your life in peace.

I recommend forgetting about financial endeavors on a day of such magnitude. Focus instead on the other areas of your life that are in need of a little attention. Friends, family, love, forgiveness, and the sense of belonging. In the end, we are all trying to define and reach our higher purpose. If you don't know where you're moving to next, now would be a good time to find which direction you are moving in. At a time in which everyone needs someone to talk to, it is best to consider what else can be done. If you're not happy with the way things have been going, then take this time of reflection to formulate on a new plan.

FOR THOSE OF YOU LEARNING THE TAROT...
11:11 is a physical manifestation of the X. Wheel of Fortune card. The Wheel of Fortune presents events of divine origin that bring with them erratic and yet wonderful changes. This is a massive turning point that will be witnessed and celebrated worldwide, which makes it of a very powerful magnitude. The wheel stands for the rise and fall of fortune, with one final conclusion: What goes around comes around. It's a change that happens without explanation or logic, but it brings with it great joy. Sometimes you have to accept that you don't have control over the situation, and that things will work out as they should on their own. The situation shows movement and changes, whether be good or bad.
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BEST OF SAMHAIN 2011


Much like last year's Best of Samhain 2010, I have scoped through Facebook and blogs in search of the best Halloween costumes. Here are the best looks that I found. Enjoy!

AND THE VISIONARIES ARE...
(1) Gala Darling Blogger and self-love revolutionary!
(2) Aless Cruz
Graphic designer and loyal friend!
(3) Tsukuyi Ochida
Frightful costume mastermind!










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