Lately I don't feel connected to my cards. Does that ever happen to you? I shuffle for a few minutes, cut and draw a card. After the anticipation of the shuffling, the stilling of the mind and the careful concentration, whatever I pull leaves me blank. I feel it with my clients and I feel it with myself, and it can be pretty frustrating. It is especially frustrating when I am getting paid for it and there is a person sitting on the other side of the screen waiting for a response that makes sense. At times like these, I either ask to postpone or take a break to shower. The water purifies, it washes away any worry or cloud of judgment stopping me from doing my job.

I got a tarot reading from another member of the community and was very heavily disappointed. The reader ignored my three questions and focused on a side comment. She blew it up into a story with her own experience and what she recommends to do to deal with it. I tried to usher her back to the beginning of the reading, but she went off to her own world again. I was stunned as I watched the time kept flowing and she would not come back to topic. When there were 2 minutes left to the reading is when she finally broke out her cards and started to answer, but by then I was put off. By the time the reading ended, she asked for me to leave her feedback. What?

Today's spread has a bit of everything. At least one of every suit, although a notable presence of Courts as opposed to Majors. Last week I took on the personalities of most of those court cards. I found that the Queen of Pentacles is a great signifier for Thanksgiving because numerous other blogs displayed the same court card on this day. I also found that I can be a fear-instilling Emperor if the need be. While I pride myself on having strong character, I think that sometimes I need to learn how to simmer down that Moon in Aries so as not to scare people away. I draw blanks whenever I work with the Thoth Tarot, so perhaps I should try instead with the Hermetic Tarot again. It speaks more clearly than Thoth's riddles.


Monday. Five of Wands. One of the challenging fives. These cards have never been my favorite to interpret because they usually mean there is a problem pending. I see them as having your back turned to something that you need or you want. Notice they all wear the same shoes, so they all root for the same team. However, there is a clear discomfort as a fight starts to break out. The uniform shoes remind me of dance class, which makes me weary to think there might be a problem in going. Chin up, it really can't be that bad! Karen sees it as testing your strength in a skirmish or a series of circumstances to do with arguments. Today is not the best day for a temper tantrum!

 Tuesday. Six of Coins. This card falls on the day of my anniversary. I see charitable actions from a person that doesn't expect anything in return. For people that prefer to be self-sufficient, this is a card of discomfort. It means you can't always be independent, especially when you have others relying on you. The card makes me uncomfortable when I interpret it for my clients because I have to let them know that the financial aid they seek won't come from their own sources. More often than not, they scowl at me. It's an interesting card to keep an eye out for.

 Wednesday. Two of Cups. Notice the couple as they sit alone at the park. They don't seem to be aware of anyone watching and it looks as if they don't care. They are immersed in one another and the art of conversation. You can hear birds chirping and the leaves rustling as the sun beams on. It's a quiet day out and these lovers are enjoying it. To be away from the fuss, from the noise of everyday life is quite a luxury, and they are enjoying it. It feels like a day of harmony, when all polarities are met peacefully and without struggle.

Thursday. King of Cups. The King of Cups is a man I associate with white hair and too much melancholy to face. Grandpa has turned into this man, even though he was once the King of Coins. The days go by and he gets quieter and quieter. Every time I go see him I feel uncomfortable because of the invisible walls between us. As much as I try to open myself up to him, I know that he has a hard time accepting who I am. He can't wrap his mind around what I do for a living or who I am dating, but I can't blame him. I still love him very much and I know that he misses Grandma as much as I do.

Perhaps it is a day for controlled melancholy. Thinking back on good times and things that once were even when you have a party raging in your honor. Sometimes those who are the highlight of the event prefer the comfort of solitude and silence, and I have found myself to be this way as well. What a lesson this card brings! It showed up last week as well, and a few weeks before that. He's onto me!

Friday. Ace of Pentacles. This could be a bonus or payday in the works or a package in the mail. Something small that still brings with it a smile. Lately I have been working my hands off and my mind to liquid in order to keep things going. It isn't easy when the holidays come around because I am faced with car expenses that are not usual during the year as well as the burning question of what to get my loved ones. Even now I am beginning to fret over what to do about it. Perhaps by Friday I will have a better idea.

Saturday. Eight of Wands. Here we go again! The race of time for responsibility or fast action. I don't like feeling rushed, and that's exactly what this card denotes. The need for speed, the urgency to get going and really focus on that goal hanging up ahead. Sometimes we don't even know what we are running for, but we know that once we get there we will find out. A day of fast talk, action and messages exchanged on the go.

Sunday. Knight of Wands. This card has caught my eye ever since I started working with the Victorian Romantic Tarot. Here we see a Knight either trying to save or running away with a fainted lady. From the looks, she might even have passed on! The color on her looks sickly, she certainly looks like she was in need of aid when she was still awake. He was caught mid-dash! We need to stand out for ourselves unless we want to end up where she is rather than where he is.

What to avoid. Knight of Coins. I have never truly seen this Knight as one in action. No kidding! This one isn't even on his horse. He's neglecting his duty to help out the people around him, so what does that tell us? For one, if this is in the position of what to avoid, it is just that. Taking unnecessary detours from responsibilities will end up in having to make up for them later. It obviously doesn't mean that we need to neglect the others waiting on us for some help all the time, but rather to watch for balancing that matter. For a card that seemed vague at first, the message came through just right.

What to strive for. Death.Changes. Letting go of things even if they are hard to let go of. The lesson of this card is never easy as I have come to witness, but it doesn't mean I can avoid it. I mean, come on! This is Death we are talking about.

I have a hard time relating the Victorian Romantic Tarot to daily life. The lovely depictions of classical times feel saturated with fantasy, rather than what they are meant to be. Can you believe that? The times have changed so much that I view reality as fantasy. What a world this is!

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