I spent some time with myself today. What I mean by that is that I took a break not to overthink everything and I could actually focus on thoughts outside of my to-do list. Looking inside and having a thoughtful moment really helps me gain clarity on how far I've come along in life, and what the lessons that have been picked up along the way have been.
I realized that love is what I’d eat, sleep and breathe when I was a teen. Back then, life was centered around the first couple of relationships to ever grace my life. When I was on the outs, I was also out of order. Rejection was also very confusing, because we tend to blame ourselves for our mistakes or not being good enough. Sometimes, the only issue is really a personal incompatibility.

My very first boyfriend noticed me long before I noticed him. He was best friends with my best friend’s boyfriend, and I guess in high school that matches you out to be the perfect couple. I had my attention set on somebody else who refused to notice me, and in all of my dramas with finding out who I was, I just didn’t have the time to notice him. Then he asked me out one day and I hesitantly agreed to do it so I could leave the house and spend time with the group. I’ve always prioritized friendships, and even more then. When you don’t have responsibilities and bills to pay, life is much more simple.

That date turned into a string of dates and a proposal to be in my first relationship. I allowed myself to open up to him and talk to him about things I had never connected with anybody else about. That dream lasted seven months, and after that the relationship started turning into something a little less positive. My best friend broke up with her guy and ended up coveting my guy.

One day I was going through intense math tutoring and I wasn’t going to go out, but my Mom pushed me to go anyway. When I went, I noticed my boyfriend was all over my best friend. It made sense to me why he wanted to end things with me all of the sudden after our anniversary. He wanted her. So he did leave me for her, and then I was miserable. I didn’t know how to move on, and I couldn’t bring myself to. Something broke in me, I’ve never felt so much pain after a break up until more recent years. The first break-up was the worst! Not only had I been persuaded out of my infancy and my attention to kid stuff, but then I was also dumped for my best friend and outcast from the group. It sucked!

So why don’t I talk about my love life now?

The answer is in my vocation. Becoming a tarot reader and actively reading for clients has given me an infinite amount of perspectives. I have read for people in just about any position imaginable. Affairs, break-ups, faulty communication, abundance of love, marriage proposals, newlyweds, etc.

I've realized the value of keeping your relationship private and away from prying eyes. People don't need to know every time you have an argument or misunderstanding, or any other time you feel disillusioned because things aren't going the way you want them to. The trick is to understand that these obstacles are reminders that everything in life takes effort to maintain.

I feel like those of us in the craft gain a natural understanding of how humans read one another. We also have to point out where the bugs are in communication, and often times that is something that the people going through the issue are failing to identify. Being on the outside allows us to see why things don’t work out for people. Over time you begin to understand outside influences and fluctuations resulting from human interaction. The truth is that humans influence one another with their presence, and readers are able to pick up on those influences.

It goes further than just influence. Sometimes the responsibilities and obstacles people face also affect their relationships. Sometimes people need time, also. There’s really an infinite number of possibilities that can help a situation thrive or go sour. But we see the dimensional quality to this dynamic every time, and that really helps us gain a natural understanding of human conduct and cycles. It matures us as readers and as people.

I do not think that being a tarot reader makes one superior or more prepared to handle life, but I do feel that the introspective snapshot quality of a reading allows people to understand they have options. No situation is final unless we decide it is so, because free will is definitely a big driving factor. I also don't situations end up being hopeless unless we allow them to be. We shape our own reality.

It is important to note that stereotypes should be entirely eliminated from a reading. They mislead you. Each situation is its own ecosystem type in the sense that the participants and circumstances will be unique to the situation. Even if there are similarities in cases over the years, the motivational factors are different and the outcomes are also very different as well. I’ve never seen two uncannily different situations have the same turnaround. I have, however, noticed that some tendencies lead people down certain paths. The destination is, however, up to the querent and what they choose to do with their options.

I love reading on romance. 80% of my clients come to ask me about their romantic lives. The rest have focus on career or spiritual development.

If there is something I have learned, it is that we always have options.

In my own life I try not to be too public with my romantic life. I have had the luxury to count on some really amazing and most importantly loyal lovers. I’ve been taught to forget about instances in which others were not right for me and have also come to understand why it turns out some people are a better fit than others. By being focused on the solutions that the tarot generally provides for romantic connections, I have found that many of the solutions have to do with improving communication and keeping the romance fresh. It’s almost a guaranteed formula to success.

I’ve learned the importance of really listening and not responding with my own impression or need. Simply to respond in understanding of a lover’s need. It creates an open channel for things to be expressed without resentment and is conductive to growth. The same formula doesn’t work for everybody, but I definitely found one that worked for me. Working with the cards has matured my soul and my relationships.

It’s always good to get a second opinion on a situation, but we don’t always have a friend around that will listen and will give us the advice we need to hear. Throughout quiet contemplation and conversations with cards, readers learn to look past initial impressions and bias and start seeing what is really there. Then they are given the tools to empower the situation. And that’s pretty powerful. We follow the compass of our heart as it dictates, but having a strong idea of where we want to go helps. When we set an intention for ourselves and our relationships, they work miracles.

If I were to leave reminders for those struggling with romance, it would be for them to understand that they always have a choice.

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