TYLDWICK TAROT REVIEW REPRISED

DECK REVIEW

IN THE DAY OF YOUR SUN

The countdown to my 30th birthday passed slowly, and it also passed with what I felt were last-minute lessons. I felt it looming and edging closer all the while wondering if I had learned everything I needed to from my 20s. I didn't feel confident that I had, but I reasoned with myself and admitted life doesn't wait for you to be ready for it. It just happens to you, and the way you choose to keep reacting to it defines your reality.
I stand today will in rickety shape, like that of a broken down fairground. I've been having a tough time lately, and the more I try to fix it the worse it gets. I don't feel very confident about myself, so in many ways I feel like I am starting my 30s with a slate yet to wipe clean. I still have to clean all this rubble off. I learned the hard way and still feel like there are leftover loose ends to take care of. It all comes with the pressure of entering a new chapter in your life without the knowledge of how well you have prepared for the upcoming obstacles. My responsibilities and stressors keep piling up, and with the days passing I find I have less and less time for myself. Making time to draw is incredibly difficult when I am sapped of my motivation and dragging through a rough day.



Bite





I had a pretty good day when I turned 30. I got up and tried to work a while, went to therapy and introduced my mother to my therapist. That session was eye-opening and brought me into perspective of what the people who have me in their lives feel. I went to have Japanese food for lunch at my favorite ramen place, Daikokuya, and enjoyed some sparkling sake and my mother's company. We kept the food tour going with Ladurée's Ispahan at The Grove. It's so good!
Later that day I passed by my boyfriend's house and saw him for a few minutes. Mom got to meet one of his sphynx cats, and she squealed in delight as she held the kitten. I was extremely moved by her enjoyment of the encounter and only wish I'd have given her more time with him. Then we went to dinner with my mother and enjoyed some Italian food. The wine was my favorite in LA.We went to see A Star is Born after dinner.

On the walk back I made sure to voice appreciation to my mother for dropping her life and meeting me in Los Angeles for a week to catch up. Her support during this time has been a soothing balm, and I can't help but feel choked up knowing she did it all selflessly and because she loves me. She is living an extremely busy life back home and knowing she was willing to set her responsibilities aside to be there for me have moved me very deeply. I'm going to miss her so much now that she's returned to the island.

I sat in my living room after the day was over and contemplated my life. If you asked me what I am the most invested in, it is hands down my relationship. I've gone all in and at times forgotten myself. I feel so intensely for my boyfriend, and I hope he carries this knowledge with him as he carries my key in his pocket. 🗝️🗝️







The next day my friends came to see me at Cloak & Dagger. I was gifted a table (thank you, Michael Patterson!) and got to enjoy the club that has been my sanctuary for the past couple of years.The music was exceptionally good that night with Brian T and Baby Magick spinning. My friends lit up hearing remixes they listened to and loved. None of the people I invited really knew each other but to my delight they all got along really well and said they had a nice time. All that was missing was my boyfriend beside me.

I still can't believe I made it to 30. Although I am not feeling at my best lately, I want to express gratitude for the unconditional love my mother has been giving me. I want to express gratitude for my boyfriend Chris, who I love immensely and couldn't see a happy life without. My friends have all voiced their support and have offered to be there if I need them. I'm so grateful to everybody who has stuck beside me and motivated me to keep going.

The days ahead are looking to be lonely ones. I'm not looking forward to buckling down and concentrating on all the work I have to catch up on, but all good things come to an end. Now all I've got to do is focus and get back to some really serious adulting.

The 8th anniversary of this blog is rapidly approaching on the 31st of October. It's incredible how long this project has been going on for. It has kept its integrity as a life chronicle and as a resource for all those looking to add to their tarot collections. It has documented my growth across what I affectionately like to call my past lives and has brought me many wonderful contacts & clients. So thank you, all my readers from the recent ones to the ones that have been around since this blog launched. Samhain Moon wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for those of you reaching out to tell me you enjoy my reviews or life anecdotes. I wouldn't still be doing this if I didn't feel like it added the signature of the magic inside of me to this world. That is a gift in its own right.



Thanks for looking. Its been an intense, bumpy ride but I'm somehow still moving forward. I hope you all are, too.
♡♡

MARRAKECH: THE CITY OF THE MAGIC DOORS

Oh, I’m in love! I’m in love with a pink city that comes alive at sundown. In the mornings, the sweet African breeze is cool and crisp. I'd wake up before 5A.M. every day, and hear the call to prayer from my balcony. The sun had barely started to shine and the glow of my computer screen tints my face in blue. As I type out morning e-mails and messages, I feel content with where things are at in my life. This is the best place to be in the moment in, and I don't waste time being outside of myself. I can hear the birds chirping from the riad and the streets are less busy.

The best part of the day is starting it out with thé de menthe in the morning. I have at least six cups because I love the fresh mint so much that now it’s a part of my routine. Do it over again for lunch and dinner, and in my friend's shops. I wish this was a practice I could bring back with me to America.

As you walk through the labyrinth, you get some sights! Stray cats roam the streets like lazy royalty, there are beautiful iron doors with pastel colors or stark black and white patterns. I did not cross a door I did not love for its rustic, artisanal qualities. The streets are cobblestoned and many of the walls of he labyrinth have been worn down by the desert’s climate. Many of the patterns seen overhead are in lace. What a Romantic place! Agrabah has come to life!







The shops open form 11A.M. until 10P.M. In some cases, some shops close at 11P.M. or midnight. The shopkeepers are always active, and they will remember you. I have never quite seen hustling game like they have it in the Middle East. The people of the Medina are expert hagglers and hustlers. Both Mom and I learned a thing or two about closing a sale simply from interacting with them.

Another highlight from Marrakech is the attention that you get. It doesn't matter if you're clearly not responsive, it won't discourage them from trying. Everybody gets it, it's hard to avoid when you're passing by the streets.

“Excuse me! Excuse me!” “España?” “How many camels?”

I don’t think I’ve ever received so many compliments in a day. These people will do anything to lure you into their shop and sell you something!






At first, you can easily get overwhelmed by the hustle and the noise. I sure was! It took me a full set of 24 hours before I felt more confident navigating the labyrinth of the Medina, and two full days to feel comfortable being out past 8p.m.

The next we found ourselves walking through the door of our riad at 1:30a.m., arms heavy with two handira and accompanying pillow cases. I was glowing with excitement. These marriage blankets are made in the mountains by Berber women, commitments to their marriage. With growing popularity, they have started to produce these blankets in other colors, but the traditional ones are the white ones. Those were also really gorgeous.

I ended up purchasing three: an XL black one, a medium white one and a small purple one. I can't tell you which one I love more! It is simply impossible to. They are all gorgeous, but my white one will be the one getting the most use.

Haggling the prices for the handira blankets was an experience. Well, finding them was, as well. We went around the entire Medina looking for the right style and scale. After combing through shops and piling blanket after blanket atop one another, we met the charming Mouad. Sitting at the 4th floor of this Moroccan artisanship superstore, the piles flopped on the floor as we sat around, drinking the most delicious mint tea I had during my time in Morocco.




Another quiet source of magic in Marrakech is their garlands. I have a tendency to notice light patterns wherever I go, so these shops were quite a delight. After admiring tea sets, bridal dresses and marriage blankets, the one regret I have is being unable to bring some garlands back. They were all so gorgeous!

The shopping here is unparalleled. Truly. I still dream of some of the tea sets I saw while hunting for my handira blankets. I think we lost count of how many times we came back to the Medina. Something else that we enjoyed that I didn't get to take a photo of is the dried fruit and nuts vendors. I'd delight in some grapefruit juice and dried apricots for snacking and keeping cool. Soooo good!




With each new blanket that flopped onto the floor, I cheered. Those handmade patterns and sequins delight! I saw them in all colors and sizes, and ended up going home with a large black one and a medium white one with some of the most beautiful little details I have seen on handira to date. Now I regularly flop around my bed and delight in the magic of my marriage blankets. I found a third purple one to drape over my couch, and it delights my day every morning when I first walk out of my room.

We took a day to go to the desert of Palmeraie, delighting in camel rides and stopping to drink some water. It was some of the best fun we’ve had in months. When we were done, we got dropped off in the new city of Gueliz. There, we found some really excellent restaurants and a modern Marrakech that we couldn’t help but fall in love with. We kept repeating how impressed we were with what Morocco has to offer, and how much we enjoyed the culture despite how different it is from our own.









I took great enjoyment from kaftan hunting at the Medina. Isibella asked me to bring her back a dress, and I had a great time haggling with vendors. One of them recognized me in the street randomly and greeted me as you would a long time friend.

We went to the Yves Saint Laurent Museum and to a few castles. I think my favorite exhibit was that of the Berebere people and how they accessorized themselves.

At night our usual go-to place to have dinner was this Spanish restaurant, where we’d sneak wine and delight in candlelit dinner. We became friends with the owners who shared their life stories with us and greeted us with gusto every evening.

Witnessing sun down on a rooftop in the Medina is something else. I’ll never forget the contrasting pinks and teals in the night sky.







The walk back to our riad every night was hustling and bustling. The markets take on new life at night. Many a time we would find our way back at midnight without concern for our safety even though we traversed the streets of Marrakech alone. It is truly a wonderful, magical place.

On our last day in Marrakech we took a tour to the Atlas mountains to visit a Berber village. I got to hang out with the locals and they taught me how to make argan oil for any ailment you can think of. I saw some more handira that I fantasized about taking home and ended up hiking the Atlas mountains.

The hike was extremely dangerous. There were no ropes to help keep you grounded and the rocks were at times slippery. I found myself asking, “why do I do this to myself?” when I had to go up a thin metal latter that had nothing but rocks after. I only made it because the tour guide helped me get through it.

It was well worth the risk though in my opinion. I found peace in the Atlas mountains. After visiting the waterfall, I fell asleep in a nearby resting area with blankets and pillows. I woke up to silence and the feeling that everything was falling into place. I found myself at peace with myself. No noise, no concerns or burdens. No self-loathing. All of my problems and dramas had gone away for that moment and I felt truly happy. I sat there meditating and enjoying the African breeze, marveling at the sacred grounds I tread.




Still today I can close my eyes and go back there. I remember the way the light of day hit the boulders and the shadows it cast because of it. I remember the clear water of the waterfall and how refreshing it was to sit by it, contemplating my life.

The answer is that I say yes to adventure because it helps define me as an individual. I’ve done some amazing things and found happiness because of it. My happiness is not dependent on others most of the time, but rather in the amazing events I experience. I am a very solitary person, but I find joy in sharing my blessings with others when they wish to participate.

This trip was so good for me. Still today I find myself craving mint tea and feeling the African breeze on my face. These pictures are enough to last me for a while, though, and for that I am thankful.








The lace city delighted me with its mint tea and wild, wild streets. Oh, to traverse the maze of the Medina is a dream come true. I miss it all the time, but I'm glad I got to experience its magic first hand.

It's also kind of sad, but I lost my moonstone necklace in New York on my way back from the trip. Many times I thought to give it back or pass it on, but I wasn't expecting to part with it this way. I kind of wish I hadn't brought it, but that part of my life is over so I chalked it up to time claiming it when my time with it was up. Kind of an emotional conclusion to a venture of self-discovery. I wonder where it ended up.

Edit: I have since replaced the moonstone necklace. Now it only has my initials, and all feels right.

Thanks for stopping by! Have a wonderful 2018!
♡♡