CLOAK & DAGGER 01/08/2019

Last Tuesday I took my boyfriend to my favorite club and introduced him to all my Nightside friends. He even got to meet my dear friend Father Sebastiaan. I was overcome with an ecstatic sense of euphoria the entire night, hugging everybody for the first time in the new calendar year and feeling proud of the company on my arm. Its these moments I live for, and I want to commemorate the love of the night posting our photobooth portraits.

We had an amazing time. I'm so happy I can share the magic of my Cloak & Dagger community with somebody outside of it. I'm also very happy we have a safe space to express ourselves and to explore the highlights that can be found hiding in very dimly candlelit tables in the darkness.

I felt really lucky to enjoy the company of my beloved in my most favorite club. Holding his hand in the darkness validated many of the struggles we've overcome, just to earn us a moment for us like this one. He makes my heart sing so loud.



Really enjoying the momentum we got into at the start of 2019. I wish for us all to be successful in progressing towards the kind of people we want to end up turning into. On my end I'm trying to prioritize what really matters in hobbies, priorities and especially connections to other people.

The Serious Relationship Relationship Club.
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IN THE DAY OF YOUR SUN

The countdown to my 30th birthday passed slowly, and it also passed with what I felt were last-minute lessons. I felt it looming and edging closer all the while wondering if I had learned everything I needed to from my 20s. I didn't feel confident that I had, but I reasoned with myself and admitted life doesn't wait for you to be ready for it. It just happens to you, and the way you choose to keep reacting to it defines your reality.
I stand today will in rickety shape, like that of a broken down fairground. I've been having a tough time lately, and the more I try to fix it the worse it gets. I don't feel very confident about myself, so in many ways I feel like I am starting my 30s with a slate yet to wipe clean. I still have to clean all this rubble off. I learned the hard way and still feel like there are leftover loose ends to take care of. It all comes with the pressure of entering a new chapter in your life without the knowledge of how well you have prepared for the upcoming obstacles. My responsibilities and stressors keep piling up, and with the days passing I find I have less and less time for myself. Making time to draw is incredibly difficult when I am sapped of my motivation and dragging through a rough day.



Bite





I had a pretty good day when I turned 30. I got up and tried to work a while, went to therapy and introduced my mother to my therapist. That session was eye-opening and brought me into perspective of what the people who have me in their lives feel. I went to have Japanese food for lunch at my favorite ramen place, Daikokuya, and enjoyed some sparkling sake and my mother's company. We kept the food tour going with Ladurée's Ispahan at The Grove. It's so good!
Later that day I passed by my boyfriend's house and saw him for a few minutes. Mom got to meet one of his sphynx cats, and she squealed in delight as she held the kitten. I was extremely moved by her enjoyment of the encounter and only wish I'd have given her more time with him. Then we went to dinner with my mother and enjoyed some Italian food. The wine was my favorite in LA.We went to see A Star is Born after dinner.

On the walk back I made sure to voice appreciation to my mother for dropping her life and meeting me in Los Angeles for a week to catch up. Her support during this time has been a soothing balm, and I can't help but feel choked up knowing she did it all selflessly and because she loves me. She is living an extremely busy life back home and knowing she was willing to set her responsibilities aside to be there for me have moved me very deeply. I'm going to miss her so much now that she's returned to the island.

I sat in my living room after the day was over and contemplated my life. If you asked me what I am the most invested in, it is hands down my relationship. I've gone all in and at times forgotten myself. I feel so intensely for my boyfriend, and I hope he carries this knowledge with him as he carries my key in his pocket. 🗝️🗝️







The next day my friends came to see me at Cloak & Dagger. I was gifted a table (thank you, Michael Patterson!) and got to enjoy the club that has been my sanctuary for the past couple of years.The music was exceptionally good that night with Brian T and Baby Magick spinning. My friends lit up hearing remixes they listened to and loved. None of the people I invited really knew each other but to my delight they all got along really well and said they had a nice time. All that was missing was my boyfriend beside me.

I still can't believe I made it to 30. Although I am not feeling at my best lately, I want to express gratitude for the unconditional love my mother has been giving me. I want to express gratitude for my boyfriend Chris, who I love immensely and couldn't see a happy life without. My friends have all voiced their support and have offered to be there if I need them. I'm so grateful to everybody who has stuck beside me and motivated me to keep going.

The days ahead are looking to be lonely ones. I'm not looking forward to buckling down and concentrating on all the work I have to catch up on, but all good things come to an end. Now all I've got to do is focus and get back to some really serious adulting.

The 8th anniversary of this blog is rapidly approaching on the 31st of October. It's incredible how long this project has been going on for. It has kept its integrity as a life chronicle and as a resource for all those looking to add to their tarot collections. It has documented my growth across what I affectionately like to call my past lives and has brought me many wonderful contacts & clients. So thank you, all my readers from the recent ones to the ones that have been around since this blog launched. Samhain Moon wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for those of you reaching out to tell me you enjoy my reviews or life anecdotes. I wouldn't still be doing this if I didn't feel like it added the signature of the magic inside of me to this world. That is a gift in its own right.



Thanks for looking. Its been an intense, bumpy ride but I'm somehow still moving forward. I hope you all are, too.
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EXCISION 2018 TOUR FEATURING THE PARADOX

Let’s talk about a new addition to my iTunes play listing habits that I haven’t been able to put down since. I got heavily into Dubstep a few months ago and it has slowly been taking up more of my attention. Its gotten pretty feverish and I know my Twitter friends have not exactly enjoyed getting pelted by the slew of rants about Dubstep and Riddim. They're pulling through though and giving me the space I need to express myself. I am really enjoying the music! It's so out of character, though.

Excision brought The Paradox tour for two sold out shows at the NOS Events Center in San Bernardino, CA. The event was held on the weekend of January 19/20. I actually saw everybody that was performing and was there for a brutal whole nine hours of bass. You can imagine how raw it left my ears even with ear plugs in the entire time. The festival was boasting face-melting 150,000 watts of bass. Music that moves you.

Getting through security wasn’t as bad as it had been for Countdown NYE, which was held at the same venue last December and was an exponentially larger show by at least 2/3. It felt good to tread those stomping grounds again, I really like the atmosphere of Basshead raves and hope to share experiences with my own squad in the future. Finding people that are as heavily into it as you is rare unless you're at the events.

I think the most mind-blowing act other than the ones I was there to see was Um.., a LA local music project that goes hard and has experimental sound. I’ve been crushing on their music ever since. It’s great when you find new music you love as you are there to see a band you really love. Definitely going to be showing this act some warm support in the months to come. They're currently on tour with 12th Planet.

Monxx killed it, nothing new. His set was heavy and enjoyable. I had a great view of the stage and I got to get down to all my favorite bangers. 10/10.











Oh man, that was brutal. I appreciated having the rail from Downlink all the way through Excision, after raging hard for most of the concept you start to get sore. I was definitely feeling the long hours standing in a cramped space with people going nuts all around my safe spot.

EXCISION'S THE PARADOX:
By the time the final boss came up I was pretty tired and worried that I wouldn’t have enough energy to enjoy Excision. Sure enough, when they revealed the massive stage with the Lost Lands intro I LOST IT. The euphoria that erupted from the crowd was contagious, and I enjoyed that set thoroughly. It was great to have my own safety bubble on the rail. You can headbang or just watch and have a great time doing either one of those options.

I think Jeff’s mixing for a live set is excellent, the song choices were straight bangers. It was rewarding to experience much of the same set that people that went to Lost Lands in 2017 got to hear. The visuals were actually quite stunning too, there were some Japanese animation influences I rather liked. The kaleidoscope of dinosaurs and cyborgs was a real delight. While he didn’t play The Wonky Song, that song had dropped earlier on in the night. I think the highlights of my night were Bommer x Crowell - Yasuo (Ivory 'Wizuo' Remix), Excision & Dion Timmer - Her (Wooli Remix), Robo Kitty, Whyel - Bleed No More, Downlink - Absolute Fire, and of course Riot Ten - Railbreaker.

What comes after a high climb is usually a real low drop. Missing the festival environment and the experience with the music especially since the event happened. It’s a long wait until March, and I have since been craving another rave. Datsik is bringing Riot Ten b2b Squnto. Not gonna’ lie, it’s going to be wild.

That's the thing about subcultures, when you first get into them they completely absorb you. I want to experience all of this great music live, to get familiar with the artists and the community built around them. That aspect of music scenes is really rewarding to observe. You see some wild happenings in those crowds, and once the event is done no one likely thinks about it twice. If you didn't see it, then it didn't happen. Much like magic.



Thanks for reading, hope you've enjoyed the first month of 2018. I think I've got more card reviews coming up in February. Let's take a break from talking about music for a while.

Event photos compliments of ODAGYO.
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DEPECHE MODE GLOBAL SPIRIT TOUR

We need to interrupt the regular schedule to talk about a mind-altering experience I just had last night. I know we haven’t even talked about Marrakech yet, but you guys need to hear this now.

Last night Depeche Mode played the Global Spirit Tour at the Hollywood Bowl. The event started at 7:30P.M., but we arrived at 8:30P.M. And missed out on Warpaint's set, Just getting there was a mission, the street was jam packed with traffic and the place is so big that it looked like a giant ant farm. It was overflowing with hustle, bustle and street food. Being an empath and being pelted with his much coming at you from all sides gives you a sense of euphoria as the excitement mounts. Energy sensitive people were likely extremely overwhelmed and hyper. I certainly was!

I was delighted with our seats, and the company was excellent. We felt the entire set deeply within our hearts and souls. There was a cathartic release of tears and old emotions thrown back out into the world, and with the space that it created I felt myself filling up with love. An overwhelming amount of joy, gratitude and love flooded me. I haven’t felt this alive in years!

It was incredibly easy to get lost in the music. I wish I could recreate the atmosphere and mindset for you in words, but it's very difficult. You feel the excitement in waves, and the more that people cheer the more you feel your body will spontaneously combust. The weather was divine, it wasn't humid or hot like it has been the past few days. Everybody was having fun in an extremely safe environment. There were many cop cars there at the ready in case an attack broke out. I felt completely liberated and able to express myself. There's no price on that.





The setlist was incredible! I think I even enjoyed it more than the ’13 Delta Machine Tour and Soulsavers.

GLOBAL SPIRIT TOUR SETLIST
♡ Revolution (Beatles song)
♡ Cover Me
♡ Going Backwards
♡ It’s No Good (Tour Debut)
♡ Barrel of a Gun
♡ A Pain That I’m Used To (Jacques Lu Cont Rmx)
♡ Corrupt
♡ In Your Room (🔥🔥🔥 Can you say sizzling?)
♡ World In My Eyes
♡ Cover Me
♡ Insight
♡ Home
♡ Poison Heart
♡ Where’s the Revolution
♡ Wrong
♡ Everything Counts
♡ Stripped
♡ Enjoy the Silence
♡ Never Let Me Down Again

ENCORE:
♡ Shake the Disease
♡ Walking in My Shoes
♡ Black Celebration
♡ I Feel You
♡ Personal Jesus

Insane, right??



After the show, we scrambled. I didn’t get to see my Cloak squad even though they were present. The insanity of the crowds was overwhelming, and luckily we didn't get stuck. Instead, we walked to Boardner’s for Blue Mondays. The night took a turn for the wild, we partied so hard. I ran into Marco, which I met recently at the last Ruin. Christopher was also there, so we had a great dance troupe. All smiles!

After the club, Silvia and I went to grab a bite to eat. We opened up to each other about our secrets and laughed plenty. With open hearts it is easier to see into the soul of the people you are facing. We were glowing, winding down a successful outing with intense love overflowing. Despite all of the insanity of the past few years, life is good. We had the best time!

Now I’ve got memories to last me through the day. Tonight is Diplo's guest dj set at Cloak and Dagger. The Cloak squad gives me so much life! Ever since I met them earlier this year, these people have changed my life. We are going to dance the night away in our church like sanctuary. There will be sonic romance. There will be a sickening amount of photo booth pictures taken and the dancing will burn us clean again. Yes!



I love Los Angeles. I love the intensity of the life I am living. I love that you are all supporting me after such a hard time and filling my heart with some much-needed love. I’ve been starving for too long. Thank you!

My birthday is this Sunday. I promise I will write about the Marrakech trip soon!
♡♡

CONFESS...

What a whirlwind! I disappeared for a few months to get my circumstances in order, and to heal from a very intense break up. The relationship itself was one that left a huge impacting hole in my life, and getting over the rut has been a bit of a struggle for me. There was so much collateral damage, and since then I've had some high highs and low lows. But it feels so good to have gotten out of it and to be experiencing something new.

In talking to others about their life experiences, I have found synchronicity. A lot of the people I am currently bonding with have just gotten out of a rough period in their lives. They feel more their own selves than they have in years, and I strongly resonate with this because this is exactly how I have been feeling. Coming out of a rough period and finding support is a grounding and very humbling experience. It's hard to have thorns when you are cradled by an abundance of love. And I certainly have received generous amounts of love lately!

Opening your eyes to the world and recognizing yourself to be a new person is a riveting change. It shakes up your core. If you are going through a change like this also I invite you to my comments section. Please tell me about your recent challenges, share your ups and downs with me. Believe it or not I am very interested in getting to know my readers more, and I want to be emphatic in that your stories will be heard, considered and prayed for.

Its interesting to watch this space evolve along with me. I like it! And I feel very grateful to all the support I have received, it has given me the momentum that I need to keep going. Once you get the spring back in your step and your smiles start to widen, you feel this nurturing certainty that everything will be okay. The color starts coming back into your life and you feel stronger by the hour, circumstances allowing.





















This past month has been spent having the wildest of adventures. My spirit has been renewed, and I once more feel zest for life. I am home again and this chapter of my life feels so different from the previous ones. The adventures I am having are in a class all of their own. I could not be more excited!
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