(01) Ten of Swords

I stumbled through the forest after a long day’s journey. Truth be told, I was ready to plummet into a nice, warm bed. It must have been around two in the morning, and I was on my way to a place uncannily like Hogwarts spliced with the New Student Center. It looked like a massive castle. On the way there, I saw animals frozen in the mud by a charm; bears, otters, birds, even acorns and traces of a flood. Most of them had their teeth out as if they were running from something in fury.

I walked past the sushi shop I used to go to in college and found it closed. It felt very lonely just to be close to it, so I kept walking. Then I found myself at a ballet recital and I was the only one there. I walked past the empty seats and to the back as my eyes followed the ballerina. She was flawless. There was a secret passageway to the castle here, as I recall an old friend had told me how to get in — in a previous dream. It would lead to the dorms through the Headmaster’s private magic room. The setup was fit for a Hierophant, but there was dust everywhere as if it had not been used for years. The castle felt so devoid of life that it was scary.

I finally arrived to my room and found it felt alien to me. It was almost empty and didn’t feel the least bit homey. As I looked out the door, I saw naked couples sneaking into their room from time to time and a girl coming out of her room and disappearing into the stairs. They came to and from the communal bathrooms.

I locked myself up in the lonely room and figured I would have to wait until daytime to get the rest sorted out. The exhaustion didn’t let me think straight, so I took off my clothes, changed, and crawled into bed.

(02) Page of Swords
I regained consciousness at an Ayahuasca center deep in the Dreamworld Amazon with Mom and C. We were at the shore of a large lake, the water was muddled and you couldn’t see into it. The sky was a wild magenta, it brought together the rays of the vain sun. In our trance we could pull messages from the celestial rays.

The three of us stepped into the communal showers, each of which were in bungalows. They were separated by bamboo sticks and curtains. Beyond that was the river, they were all lining the shore. Stepping out, I let my soap drop and didn’t notice.

I went to meet up with the others to check if they were okay, but they were so caught up in the enjoyment of their showers that I went back to my bungalow. It was occupied, so I waited outside. The guru came out in a uniform and said he refilled it with soap, then invited me inside.

We reunited after the shower and laughed, commenting that the Gypsy Patricia would not believe we were there if we told her. The three of us, congregated at the Amazon for the first time, partaking in the divine ritual of the Ayahuasca.

(03) Knight of Swords
J and I went level by level at a toy store. We were admiring many things, the strangest of which was a stripper pole. He shot me a look that a man mistook J was shooting to his wife. The man got confrontational and I stepped in to reason with the man. Even though we clearly stated we were a couple, he didn’t understand that it wasn’t his wife that was being targeted. We were forced to run, so run we did. Each floor down from the 8 had less products and people, and looked more like a hospital.

Around 4, a man in uniform ran up and shot us with a white mist. We avoided it and went to the first two floors. When we got there, we went into a room to hide and found people dying of a pox on bunk beds. We covered our faces, particularly our mouths and escaped through a narrow gape. As soon as we were out in the light of day, we witnessed a plane take off right in front of us.

Change of scene.
I was a vampire vigilante that could turn into a bat. After making the mistake to ride an elevator with one of the head honchos, I was attacked and left for dead in an elevator that was shot. I turned to a bat and fled.

Went to an activity as human form only to find there was a bomb planted in a nearby field where a game was being held. I knew it would go off, but couldn’t locate it in time to deactivate it. The bomb went off and wounded orkilled many people. I followed my vampire lord in close pursuit, since he was being taken away by a band of bad guys.

Stuck in the 2nd floor looking for a way out while a gang tortured my lord, who looked just like Chris Pohl. The windows were too heavy to open in bat form, and only then I realized how little free space I had lived with in terms of windows and ways to escape. The pressure was insane, but I manged to come out unscathed.

(04) Queen of Swords
I was sitting next to JS, a friend from college. He smiled earnestly and explained he was on his way out of a halfway house. I asked for a ride when the college activity was over and he took me. We smilded at one another in the car

I got a call from someone supposed to be my friend. Her voice was muffled on the phone. I told her I was very upset with her. It is as if she did not hear me.

Change of scene.
You danced in the midst of a fill room with grace and elegance, and never seemed to break into a sweat. The place was packed, people had their dinner and enjoyed their drinks as if you were not there.

On the television, it said the best dance audition ever had been done on tv. When it said stretch, you went as far as you could. Your body twisted to impossible proportions and poses; finally, you pulled your jaw to the point it didn’t look human anymore. That got the room"s attention applause for the ghostly pale woman with black hair in the red dress.

(05) King of Swords
Speaking through the phone on a long distance call with H. As we were catching up, I asked him if he was happy. He said he was… all the resentment went away between us, but I still didn’t feel at ease with him. He had crossed the line one too many times and done too much.

He seemed interested to talk, but I was more interested in keeping secrets. Every time he asked about a certain aspect of my life, I felt he was trying to usher the conversation towards an uncomfortable subject. When you recognize somebody’s strategy, you can do your best to thwart it. It was best if he knew nothing.

Change of scene.
Mom and I were waiting at a terminal. We were on our way home from a very long trip. We got into an empty monorail when a man came in after us. He Sir Patrick Stewart, the knighted actor.  We sat quietly in the bunk, but he started up a conversation with us. It was smalltalk, but it got us all thinking. It felt natural even though we were intimidated with admiration. When we got to our stop, we thanked him cheerfully and went on our way. We smiled bright.

You can't force a dream to be something it isn't. When I went into this project, I hoped to receive messages that would become more helpful to my blog readers. I half expected to dream in a world that wouldn't be so personal, but it obviously didn't go that way. Instead, this project has me immersed in the maddening world of my past entwined with my present and my future. At times nothing makes sense, sometimes the dreams are so boring that it embarrasses me to post them... but they're real. Every last one of these entries are the best possible representation of a dream that I had prompted from tarot cards. It's really interesting how some prompt dreams that I remember vividly, while others make me wring my brain for details. You can tell which ones I remember better than others, and which ones I feel resonate the most with what I am going to in my daily life. I strongly recommend trying this out if you want a little extra push for your dreams.

I got the idea for the Tarot Diary from my friend Daniel; I met him online a few months ago. He seemingly appeared out of nowhere, and his brilliant mind changed the way I look into experimenting with the tarot. While I has doing meditations on cards and having tea with the court cards, he was dreaming in the realm of a particular card every night. He enticed me into trying it out for myself, but we lost touch when the project started rolling. I'm not sure if he even cares to know he inspired me to try this out, but I'm thankful that he was the driving force of motivation behind Tarot Dreams. Even though we are no longer in touch, I feel the right thing to do is to credit him for his creativity.


Last week held a riveting epiphany. I found myself in a tough situation in which I could either protect somebody's feelings and endure a bunch of things that were nagging at me, or stand up for myself. What I did was a bit of both in the end, because I tried to settle some personal space in order to maintain the peace. I was met with a terrible backfire; the attempt was met with wrath. It was an I told you so kind of bitter aftertaste that remained. I knew there was a risk of this happening, but I trusted my intuition and I went with it anyway. While the process was painful, I have to say that I feel relieved now. I just wish that the whole situation could have been avoided entirely, but sometimes life doesn't give us that option. The suit of Coins was present as a grounding element. It's kind of like seeking shelter from an assault you see coming.

I wish I could show you how important friendship is to me. I regard friends as treasure; they're rare to find and come with their set of virtues and flaws. It's only natural, and through the years I have learned to love people with their best faces and their imperfections as well. It's hard when you reach the point you need to choose between yourself and someone else that you love dearly. Honestly, it can get maddening. Sometimes we don't have control about where life is steering us, and all we have left is to follow the signs and cherish the moments. That's what I intend to do, but I admit that even though I am moving on, part of me saves the cavity in my heart for this person to fill. I don't quite feel the same anymore.

This week's spread seems more amicable. It does have the jarring presence of the Death card smack in the middle, though. The last time this happened was in January, and I remember all too well how difficult that one was. It's time to take it a day at a time and enjoy the week, rather than spend the days leading up to that worrying about it.


Monday. Ten of Coins. This card was present last week. We start off with a good grip on the financial department. Jobs, projects, finance are all in control and in good status. That's a relief. It can also explain matters pertaining to the house.

Tuesday. King of Swords. Whew, he cuts! This archetype stands in for an analytical mind. He is quite gifted in matters of intellect, but has become so self-aware that he estranges others from himself. Maybe he doesn't even intend to, but it's just the impression he tends to give off. He can be cold and intimidating at times.

Wednesday. Death. Oh, no... Not you again. We all know this card, the one that stands in for difficult changes. Sometimes we don't have control of the changes manifesting in our lives; it can lead to a sense of loss or helplessness. Seek some support and see those changes through, otherwise you're looking at a long haul by yourself!

Thursday. King of Wands. Wherever he goes, this man radiates passion and creativity. I look up to him and recognize him as the archetype for my wonderful boyfriend. Here is a man of creative vision and sparked talent. He can make magic out of nowhere to entertain anybody, and he has the charm to keep a charade going for days. His heart is warm and so are his eyes. I find him irresistible.

Friday. The World. Just like that, opportunities open up, plans are made and soon set into motion. This is a good sign. After the change comes the big lesson. Have an open mind and open heart towards anything that is offered to you today.

Saturday. Ten of Cups. Emotional satiety comes with knowing you have worked hard to protect your feelings as well as those of others. Don't pick a fight just because you can. Turn away wrath with caring. Embrace those who seek love, because you have enough to give in abundance. Leave nobody feeling cold and lonely.

Sunday. Page of Wands. See, this little Devil is sparked with passion. Here is a burst of energy that comes out of nowhere. It is a passion restored to its former heat. Enjoy the rush as it pulses through you and become a source of inspiration for others with your own creative spark. You don't need somebody else's voice to shine on your own.

What to avoid. Three of Wands. The solution doesn't come when you stand around waiting for things to fall into your lap; that's not reality. You want something? You work for it. You honor your intention with action, otherwise you're just wasting your time looking out for ghost ships in the horizon. Something is coming, but it's not the right time yet.

What to strive for. Eight of Cups. Just walk away. Even if it feels as if you are abandoning something, you're really not. You're looking for a break, you're looking to be cut some slack... and that's okay. Go in search of something new even if you don't know quite what it is you're searching for.

Sometimes our plans change along the way, and we shouldn't punish ourselves for that. We can't always have control over everything. Have a very merry week!


(01) Five of Swords

I was in a cold place; there was no sympathy or anything that isn’t darkness. This was limbo.

Change of scene.
I was at Dennys with my family, kicking my cousin out and throwing ice and soda all over her and my aunt. I yelled ugly things at them in rage, but they didn’t say anything in return. My other — now dead — cousin took my headphones off and asked me if I felt dead. I was listening to music that sounded a lot like a slow NIN and I did look pretty lifeless. There was a bald boy staring back at me, between Grandpa in my parents. He was clearly younger than me, just now starting his teens. He had Jean’s features and reddish brown eyes, but he was very pale. He looked like he had cancer because he was so pale and he had no hair. He sported a grey shirt with a grey and red beanie on. He looked like an angel. He tamed my anger, for a minute we stared at one another in silence. I recognized him as my own son would be at age thirteen.

(02) Six of Swords
I was at a party in Juana Diaz, we all got together at J’s house and agreed to set out from there. Jake came in all dressed up with Robert Downey Jr. walking in after him. We were all shocked to see him sporting bondage gear, he definitely seemed ready to go goth clubbing with us. The girls all seemed to get really nervous whenever he would walk past him. Everybody was bug-eyed, no one quite knew how Jake managed to bring him.

When it was time to drive back, J met up with his Mom. They staid behind. I called to check if he was okay, and found him so spaced out that we ended up fighting over the phone. The trip was really long and everybody else was asleep in the car. “You’re always so irresponsible!" Was the last thing I recall saying before waking up.

(03) Seven of Swords

J and I were making our way through the park. I saw A first, she was sitting on the stairs with her brown and red hair pulled back in a ponytail. Her eyes were focused on a brand new camera, but were clouded with her thoughts. Her fingers turned a dial on it to adjust the settings and her friends lingered around her like drones. It wasn’t long before J saw her. He got so fired up that he marched his way over. He had on a black leather jacket, slim pants and biker boots. His hair was styled upwards with a white streak and his eyes were as red as ever. Once he started to talk, A stared at him in disbelief and didn’t really say anything. The more he spoke, the more she seemed to sink. He unloaded his fury and all I did was watch with my arms crossed over my chest and my weight balanced against a wall. I had on the same type of leather jacket with a ripped up shirt, tight pants and a pair of boots. Both J and I looked pale and dead compared to A and all her friends, which looked healthy even though they were dressed in black as well. There were at least 6 of them, and just two of us.

We used to be just like them, but we got tired of people sapping our ides and stealing our personality. It got to the point we lashed out just because we couldn’t take the abuse anymore.

(04) Eight of Swords
For some reason I found myself back in school, sitting on a desk directly behind J. We were in what seemed to be a mathematics class. The period passed slowly with barely any dialogue to keep anybody’s interest going. I followed a spider to kill it and realized there were many that got larger and larger until the queen spider at the very ceiling. She was pretty frightening, but nobody seemed to notice the group of spiders on the wall. They must have thought it to be a string of decorations, but they could move on their own.

The bell rung and a new group came inside for the music course. I recognized a lot of J’s clubbing friends had signed up for the course. When they came in, the environment lightened up considerably. We all shook hands and shared details of our latest spooky finds, delightful recipes and fun games to play. It was almost like being part of their lifestyle, and having grown close to them through their experiences. When the teacher came in, they all settled in odd pairs on their decks. C  ended up sitting nearby with a Lisa Frank binder. I wanted to compliment it, but found the atmosphere around her was tense; she shot me a dirty look for no reason.

I asked C if she had a problem and she said I was the problem. It made my heart sink. She told me I was messing with someone that was getting married. I told her not to be ridiculous in an incredulous tone because the only person I was messing around with was sitting right next to me, then pointed at J. He stared back at her through suspicious eyes, and in rage I got up and left the classroom.

I went to watch a movie at the library, where I ran into M and MC. Soon I was hypnotized by a t.v. and C’s ignorance was long forgotten. I had plans to meet J for ice cream after school was over, where we would no doubt talk about how to pacify that situation.

(05) Nine of Swords
This feels like Gotham, but it is very likely just New York. We had come for a brief period, but were happy to find ourselves extending our stay. The apartment complex we lived in had a fun building next to it which also happened to be residential. It threw the wildest parties we had seen yet in a neighboring house.

Tonight’s party had a Victorian theme splices with the 90s. The music was all too familiar and inviting so we cooked up some treats and made our way over. When we got there, we found they had a feast for anybody and a full open bar. The building seemed to quake; the music made it sway from side to side. We danced next to the neighbors and made many new friends. I waved over at Grandma who waved right back, and found Mom catching up with someone she had not seen in ages.

I stepped outside to enjoy the cool night air, and then I saw a boy beckoning me over. It looked like a paler version of J, but most of his face had been obscured under a hood. We spent the rest of the night having a heart to heart under the stars. We spoke about our feelings for one another. Even though the moon shone its light on us, I couldn’t see him. I pulled back his hood and gave him a deep kiss.

These tarot dreams get increasingly more personal. I half expect to relive a scene from real life with a few added elements. They're really close to literal life, and don't embody the dreamworld as I thought they would. They're mine, though, and they ring close to my heart. It is hard to share such intimate aspects of the self sometimes, but it sure helps develop some courage as well. These dreams make my life feel pretty transparent; you can tell what I care about the most, and which influential factors affect that area of my life.


This week is strangely dominated by Coins and Major Arcana cards. There is only one from the suit of Cups, and the other two suits are absent entirely. Its been a while since a reading so obviously favored only one aspect of the week. Upon getting a closer look, it has a very personal feel to it. I feel this deals with working with you as a person and as a professional.

I have been doing a lot of that lately, figuring out where it is that I want my life to go. Three years after my college graduation, I’ve been trying to make sense of why I ended up here, in this line of work. I decided not to question it anymore and to work with it instead. It isn’t easy to figure out all the answers, but with the end of the previous Annual Review coming, I’m looking forward to find out what happens next.

Monday. The Devil. This is a scary card for me to face. The one in the Tarot of Prague is especially intimidating just after the Death card. Anyway, an animal broke free from his bonds. He cast his rage upon the city and punished those who reprimanded him for so long. I feel he is going to put them right through what they put them. This is a sinister card, one that takes our innermost secrets and exposes them. The madness will ridicule you and hit you until you are so vulnerable, you won’t dare oppose. I pick up on wrath and I pick up on the birth of a monster.

Tuesday. Nine of Coins. Back in the world of color, we can find luxury awaits us. It’s good to kick off the negativity and pamper yourself a little. Tell yourself that you deserve it when you wind down a long and arduous day of work, then look over everything you have accomplished with gratitude. Perhaps the lady in the card isn’t rich, but she has made her environment so pleasant, that her heart swells with pleasure. She is cozy no matter what she has, and thus feels at home anywhere.

Wednesday. Ten of Coins. Another positive day for work. This is comfort, this is luxury and this is loyalty. Sometimes you just have to put on the display for people to really understand that you are doing fine, you have everything you need and you will be okay. This luxury is by no means covert, it is out there in plain sight for everybody to appreciate. When you bathe yourself in gratitude, you could be dressed in rags and still feel like a million dollars. And you know what? You are worth much, much more than that.

Thursday. Three of Coins. Back to work. This is a day of threes, so tasks will come and be dealt with in threes. The word multitasking comes to mind. Perhaps it is just up to one person to do the job for three. Perhaps it’ll be a team composed of three, or the amount of glasses of champagne you will be drinking at night. Do your work and reward yourself after.

Friday. The Magician. Fancy that, I find this man to be tricky. He dazzles you with his tricks, but that is exactly what they are at the end. Somebody that wants to impress you can also be putting on a show to distract you from seeing the truth. It stands for just about anyone you meet when they want to make a good impression. They may overplay their qualities to get your attention. That’s fine, but don’t take anything onto yourself you may come to regret later.

Saturday. Page of Coins. This kid is so content with his books and his game. He marvels at a world inside his world and lets his imagination take him far. Dressed in those robes, I can see he is of good family, but he yearns to explore. Sometimes you need experience more so than education, because there will always be a yearning on the inside for adventure or self-empowerment. He looks so fondly at his project, you can tell he worked hard to get it to where he is. As a result, he could be jealous of anybody touching it but him.

Sunday. Strength. Restrain yourself and your actions if you don’t want to regret them later. Sometimes anger bubbles up inside, and before you know it, you snapped. You hurt others with your sharp words and then get some in return that you would much rather not have heard. It turns into a cycle and a power struggle. If you want to avoid uncomfortable circumstances, respect others and demand to be respected equally. Don’t let anybody step all over you.

What to avoid. Eight of Cups. Don’t walk away from someone you love just because they hurt your feelings. They might not even have known they did it, even though the signs were there and the situation was blaringly obvious. If you stand together you are strong, and if you disband you are off on your own. Seek distance if you need it and heal.

What to strive for. The Hermit. Move away from that which troubles you, and always seek to improve. Follow your inner light, the heart is the compass of fate. We see a transition from the previous card to this one that is quite nice. The Hermit knows better than to get himself into a petty argument, his sights are set on something transcendental. Perhaps that’s why he is so misunderstood. He is Time, he is wise and he could share his experiences with anybody, if only they listened and learned.



There's trouble in Dreamland, or rather, Samhain Moon. I've had this blog present in my thoughts lately, but things have been a little complicated. Thankfully, the Mercury Retrograde is now over and I am hoping that the weird funk I've been drifting in and out of will completely dissipate. I really love this blog and I would hate to have to put it on hiatus just because I've been going through such wild changes. I would like to share that progress with you guys instead, so give me some time to get composed. My editorials will be back soon, and all my posts will once more be published on their designated week days: Hello Witches on Monday, Tarot Diary on Wednesday and editorials on Friday.

(01) The Sun
I found myself at the 8th floor of a hotel event almost as if by accident. It was an event with the kind of music that I like, which is rare, but I didn’t know any of the attendants. It was just me, and I was there to do a dance performances. I got on the stage in front of people doing a gothic belly dance as homage to the sun. It is nothing like the yoga move, but was still echoing the great star in the slow dance. A projection shone on me and turned me all green, working on my heart chakra in the dream. I danced with feeling in front of a lot of people; it was a very enjoyable experience.

Chang of scene.

Somehow I find myself at a multilayer house belonging to my aunt on holiday. I refuse to talk to her and my cousin but make my way inside to find something. Climbing up the layers in box mazes, I am met with energetic dogs — now deceased — and luggage piled one on top of the other in a grand square that towers over me. I forget what I’m doing there in the first place as I pass my cousin’s computer setup with beer bottles everywhere and wise books.

(02) Judgment
I returned to a place I had only been to once before. My principal’s office in high school. It was strange to see myself in full uniform for a year that was just now beginning. They asked me when I would graduate at the main office and I said I had graduated from college three years ago. The secretary marveled and swept a remark I didn’t like at all. I waited and waited, but the principal never made it. Apparently her flight back from Berlin had been delayed.

I sat outside in the setting sun and waited until I was ready to move on, when my parents show up with a boy I used to have a crush on in college and another friend. Justin stood tall and handsome, he had on the same hoodie from when we met; black with grunge lines making up many triangles and abstract forms. His eyes were of a changeable nature; I have never trusted men with hazel eyes. They said we were going out, but right at that moment I saw a girl looking at me that I hadn’t talked to in a long time. She looked lonely, so I went up to keep her company.

I walked her to her house and she gave me a heartfelt hug. I heard crazy loud music coming from her room mate’s floor. My best friend’s room.
That night a wild party took place. One girl went into the bed to surprise her and found two strangers were under the sheets already making love. She screamed and fell out of the bed to find another couple where she had not seen then before. She was looking around for a way out, just when the person she tried to surprise came in with a friend. They all started yelling at each other and I left to go find my parents and Justin.

(03) The World
I found myself lost in an unknown city that I apparently lived in. I was a stranger to myself; had no idea why I had let myself turn into what I had become. There was no familiarity or comfort anywhere, I had finally come to face what I had done.

As I sat in the room, I looked around at the books I had filled with my secrets. Their faces came into view. Volker, the Dark Priest, the Sweet One… their visages all looked back at me through yellow glowing eyes. They made no expressions.

I was faced with the realization that I have to let go if I’m ever going to want to be free.

The room was suddenly crowded with people that are no longer living. They floated by as if they were walking, and I was in the midst of it all with a confused look in my face. None of them gave me advice with my problem; none of them seemed to care that I had a problem. I had reached the end of the line.

(04) Ace of Swords

I find myself at a Pokémon center with J and S. He participated in the tournament and made me proud. They sat him down with about eight others and when he went through his choices, I was surprised at how appropriate his picks were. They were all legendaries and there were only three of them. I was so mad with S I didn’t say a word the whole while, even though she sat next to me the whole time. When the tournament was over, there was no one on sight. J must have taken off to celebrate, but he forgot about the fact there was tension between us. I can’t keep a secret so I finally burst and told her… she started to hit me. She hit me very hard in front of everybody, even security saw it. They did nothing. She took out the business cards I had designed for her and threw them at me, then told me she didn’t need me and left.

When she did, I looked around for J and didn’t find him… until I did and wished I had not. His upper part of the head had been cut off and had been removed. He had no brain, ears or eyes. He jumped like a little kid and talked a lot of nonsense. As he was also blind and couldn’t hear me, he kept talking about what a good mood was in. He made a pun about his condition and suggested I drive instead. I couldn’t hold him still to talk, and I was so mad that I started shaking him and yelling.

His condition wasn’t his fault, they took his brain and other body parts. I woke up struggling and frustrated.

(05) Two of Swords
A war stretched through our neighborhood with two added forests. There was a whole group of us versus ‘them’, whoever they are. The forest at Grandpa’s house was barren, stripped away from its trees. Barely anything was green. The soil was like clay, there were cyclone fences in the perimeter.

The second forest was lush and housed the beings we hunted. They were like werewolves, but their fur was lime green and their eyes were red.

The war stretched on and I recognized my college sweetheart, the Hungarian Hammer. His dreads were back and real long. He looked great. After a brief romance with me, he took a teammate as a lover. She was killed days later and left in the locker cell. We tried to avenge her death by going after her captor, but found ourselves outnumbered by a massive lime green army.

(06) Three of Swords
Upon waking, you find yourself at the foot of a massive pile of boxes. In fact, it looks more like a tower. You are as lifeless as a puppet; you don’t feel like there is life flowing through you. In fact, the only thing that functions in your body lies above the shoulders. You can still think and you can still move your eyes and face. You realize that you are a cyborg, and that you are held captive in what seems to be a warehouse.

You can’t feel relief out of being stripped of your feeling, but your logical body recognizes that you can’t feel anything anymore. If you were able to feel, you would be glad. Your feelings were starting to get heavy and you felt very overwhelmed. Now that you feel nothing, you are free… but you are also lifeless.

Finally there is an energy source put into you. It feels like the component dreams are made of, but then it also feels as if somebody breathes life into you. You now have enough energy to stand and look around. Once the supply is gone, you topple back to the ground like a puppet.

There is no notion of time passing, of twinkling stars outside or the cycle of the sun. There is nothing of interest in this warehouse. Without your emotions, you are as good as any of the boxes around you. You finally feel something, that is, the realization that you are empty.

For you to get back up again, someone will have to breathe life into you. Until then, you’re just going to lie there with the boxes.

(07) Four of Swords
I drove Marvolo to the mall under a pelting shower of rain. The drops were so thick that you could barely make out the cars of the others in the parking lot, much less figure out how much room there is. I found a park spot and waited patiently, but felt that the others maneuvered to take it away. Marvolo stood his ground and nobody budged when the other car came out, so I took it.

The mall was jam packed with drones. People were staggering rather than walking and their eyes were glazed over. I walked slowly so as to blend in, seeking — you guessed it, — J out amongst them. Ten minutes later I realize that the police is following me, so I start to walk a little faster to evade them. They start breaking into a run, and soon after that so do they. All the escalators, twists and turns aren’t enough to deter them, so I opt to go outside and run in the rain instead. Next thing I know, I can’t find my car and I have to go back inside to avoid the rain. That’s when I get caught.

They placed cuffs on me and ushered me to the office tower, all the while I picked at the cuff locks. Along the way, they injected me with something. I thought I would become a drone like the rest, fear struck me hard and made my heart race. Little by little the anxiety went away and I could feel my eyes glazing over. My vision got cloudy and I couldn’t coordinate my thoughts as well. When we got to the tower, somebody I didn’t recognized set me free and created a distraction, so I ran off. My reflexes were not the same, but since they were slow also, it was beneficial that I got a head start.

The last thing I remember is feeling mortified over not finding J. I felt resentment towards the cops for their abuse of power. I finally found Marvolo and drove off.



This spread is so true that it embarrasses me. I thought about not publishing it at all, but I credit this blog for it's transparency... so it's time to walk the talk. I laughed so hard at the What to avoid / What to strive for slots because it's really true. That's what I love about using different tarot decks — just when you think you've seen it all, something always comes back to surprise you.

How are you? I am fine. Better than fine, actually. I've been reflecting on what I want out of life and beginning to make plans for the future based on that. Finding my direction was tough, since my life revolved entirely around college. I'm not exactly the kind of girl that likes to work and work and not have a soul. Now I opt for being a workaholic with a pseudo-life. I don't think I'm prepared for a full life of responsibility and adventure yet... I'm still working on me.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my nature and my amorous tendencies. I figure there is no shame in admitting the way I am in that field, but then I can't really expect anyone to understand it unless they have gone through it as well. I had an eye-opening realization a few days ago, and I'm trying to put out the fire before it engulfs me. Oh, passion!


Monday. Seven of Wands. When all odds are against you, the plus side is that you stand out. There are ways to set a difficult situation to your advantage if you blend in just enough to be able to get control. I think that the important part is to have a strategy even in a difficult time.

Tuesday. Eight of Swords. There is not much you can do when you're surrounded by drapes and you can't even see, metaphorically speaking. It seems that at best, we will need to wait it out until we have the courage to break free of the bonds that keep us in place.

Wednesday. The Chariot. I need to take my car to the shop. No, but seriously... The Chariot deals with moving so fast in life that you start missing out on the little details. Somehow, you could be so focused on getting where you want to go that you forget to enjoy the ride.

Thursday. Queen of Wands. She's quite fitting. If we were to put her counterpart in the first line — or next to it — she would be gazing into the eyes of her lover. The Lovers card stands between them both. This is a romantic affair in which both sides are completely immersed in one another. She's smart about it and she has the upper hand.

Friday. The Lovers. Dream wildly. See, she's surprised as Dracula comes to her window. This is courtship that can be humorous as well as deeply romantic given the circumstance. It's a good day to spend with someone you love.

Saturday. King of Wands. By himself, the King looks back into the past. He's guided by his knowledge of previous strife and personal passions. I feel like this one has a little imp to serve as his consciousness, whispering the happenings to him. Just before he disappears, the imp always makes it a point to salute his King. The cat eyes a lizard, just as any predator to their pray. The King saw everything.

Sunday. Three of Swords. Ouch! what happened during the weekend? These bats tear away at an intact heart, depleting it of its strength and will. The circumstances seem dismal, but if we go back to the beginning of the reading, we can see that anything can be avoided by wrestling the odds.

What to avoid. Two of Wands. Keep your devils separated and you won't have to deal with having to pry them apart. It's hard to keep control of circumstances if your devils walk and speak on their own, but partially of knowing that it is coming before it does. You've been warned.

♡ What to strive for. Ace of Wands. Cast your attention to just one devil and you don't have to worry later about what ifs. Temptation can be tricky, but knowing how to handle it makes all the difference in the world. Just pick one!



(01) Death

It took days to reach progress. The silence from this card is thick like a film that blinds.

You are suspended by a thread, the only thing tying you to life. A specter stands before you with an ivory mask that moves. The pieces interweave; they change, mix and match. The same thing happens with the expressions, they change. One thing is clear, though. You are under observation. The watchful eyes pry into your soul. There are no words exchanged, just a long and meaningful silence. You stare at one another and know that out of the two, you are the only one with an expiration date.

(02) Temperance

I sat in my room with two handsome boys who wanted to go out into the world. They must have felt smothered being inside four white walls, but I had taken to it. I had come to enjoy being in my pretty cage. The weather outside was gloomy, it would rain any second. They decided to escape the topmost tower by climbing their way down. The house was white, divided into sections like a cake. It was lined with gold motifs, something out of the Rococó… or a cake. We decided to climb down layer by layer, from the outside of the house. Each room was sectioned off by the lining. The rain tested us and so did gravity. When we made it down, I turned back to see the watchful eyes of my mother. She was contained within one of the rooms and would not go out, but her eyes beckoned me to come back inside for my own good. I told the boys to go ahead, and decided instead to stay inside. It was pouring rain as they went, and I found myself comfortably warm in my house. I was satisfied with having made it to the first layer.

Change of scene.
This looks like a dungeon, not a school. I am amongst the staff of teachers in a very dreary place. It’s almost scary, but no one seems to notice the cave-like underground they are in. Tunneled walkways lead to chambers, presumed classrooms. Everyone is dressed up ridiculously but provocative and playing a role-playing game. I know the rules by heart but cannot recall what they are. Instead, I play and I flirt and I throw caution to the wind.

(03) The Devil
I found myself in a battle for balance, struggling to restore it. I was in pursuit of a man that I did not know, for he would not show his face. He fueled a war of greed covered by funhouses. It was all over the place and overt, but for some reason society perceived it as covert.

After being in pursuit, I finally got close to him in his hotel room. Before I could arrest him, he turned things around on me. I found myself a prisoner instead, and he had his bad band to back him up. It was useless to try to escape yet.

I was held captive with a co-worker. We were both changed into pretty dresses and told of our dark fate. We looked at each other through wide eyes. When they wanted to keep us moving, they came close to us now and then to taunt us. We pushed them and got a head start running. It was a close pursuit, they had a car and we were on foot. The chase was wild, I woke up in a rush of adrenaline.

(04) The Tower
A rickety house stands by itself in a field without vegetation. It has been ripped inside out by bad weather, now all that remains is the skeleton. Still it stands, hollow and weakened by the test of time. There are no animals here to make a sound. This is a barren place with no life.

Change of scene.
I saw his pale face in the darkness looking back at me. Terrible, beautiful and absolutely dangerous… as I have always known him to be. His wickedness shone in his eyes as he gazed back. He did not see me, and no matter how high I screamed, he could not hear me. This time he did not have his black mantle, all I could see was his face. He said nothing to me, spoke nothing about when we were close.

(04) The Star
In line at the Depeche Mode concert — already!? — with a friend from school. We must have been there pretty early because it’s just us, but pretty soon others come filing in for will call. Everyone is riled up; fights eventually begin to break out. We try to avoid the fight to pick up our tickets, sometimes shielding ourselves from people. The sweet one stands next to me, looking at me through pensive eyes. He doesn’t say much, but every time he speaks, I wish he would say less.

The concert is held on an airship with rotary lights and stage. It is jam packed with people. Everything glitters and sparkles. Dave Gahan starts to sing Welcome to my World and the crowd goes crazy. Everyone is singing in unison, the crowd turns into a huge collective soul pulsating with wild life. I wave at him and he waves right back. It’s really crazy!

I am dancing and crying sweet tears of joy when all of the sudden, the sweet one grabs me and kisses me. It is our first kiss, and it happened in a dream. I woke up dazed.

(05) The Moon
In college. I got out of class at 6:30pm. It was twilight; the sun had just come out and the moon was close to the horizon, not yet rising high. The sky was in soft tones of blues and purples.

I pulled out of my backpack a plastic bag with mango ice cream bars in it. When I look closely, there are legs and feelers coming out of a bar. I drop it to the floor in surprise, and two more creatures made manifest. Scorpions or lobsters? Getting a closer look, they are lobsters. I realized it at almost 7pm on the middle of the semester; my worst fear had come true, I was missing a special paleontologist class. I hurried myself over and explained to the teacher why I had not made it all semester. I kept forgetting I had a night class on Thursdays. She was skeptical at first, but after the lobster story she eased up.

When I got out, I saw my neighbor’s dad on campus. He always makes me think of the Lenormand Fox + Seven of Swords. A clever man that can’t be trusted.

It was night time now, as I walked back to my dorm I could see the lobsters our and roaming the campus. They had joined bigger ones. I didn’t find the need to look for protection from their claws.

I ran into a security officer and made inquiry of my neighbor, who is supposed to be a failed lawyer, now law professor. The officer said he had a studio and his artwork was terrible. We laughed.

I went inside my room but came back out to do some investigation. It was now close to midnight and the moon was high in the sky. I basked in its glow, which it borrowed from the sun, and felt comfort in the madness of the lobsters manifesting. Pretty soon, there were crabs too. They all crawled past me in a zombie state, their eyes were glazed over and they were still wet. It was as if something was invisibly summoning them.  My curiosity got the best of me, and I fell into step close enough to a group of lobsters. I decided to follow their trail.

Things are somewhat back to normal in Dreamland. I am back to dreaming regularly. Lately anything I talk about before sleep ends up being the main subject in my dream. It proves particularly true for the Star and Moon readings. I enjoyed them so much, though! They had magic and suspense in them, which are elements that I have found allow me to get more into the dream experience. It's a level just under lucid dreaming, since I am aware it's an alternate reality, but I am still asleep enough not to notice I am dreaming. I felt as if my life was a movie at that point in time!

I've been acting strange lately; keeping to myself and trying not to be too present on social media. I'm sorry if anybody has been looking for me; I'm a hermit crab in a safety bubble! Things are going fine, though. I occupy my spare time with Pokémon games when I am not working. It's nice to pull out the Nintendo DS and spend some time in Unova.


Another week has just begun. Where has the time gone? I have been giving a lot of thought about my life lately, mostly speculating where it's going to go from here. I'm not really clear on what my options are just because I've been feeling really bogged down with the work routine that I established to stay productive. I've been thinking about reviewing more tarot decks, but in truth I feel I have written about the ones I have enjoyed the most. There are some exceptions, but I don't feel that it's the right time to yet.

I have started composing some more Major Arcana posts as well as a few editorials. They're almost there, but not quite yet. It would be real nice to figure out what is is exactly that I am meant to be doing, but I feel that the pieces are falling into place little by little. I think that I am finally starting to see where it is that I am meant to go, and the spread I got today reflects that.


Monday. Seven of Swords. Sometimes the world around you proves bothersome with all the noise. I feel like getting away lately. It would be nice to have some more space to think. It feels like everyone is looking for something when they write to me. I’d rather have some space to get things done, so I will make myself available when I feel like it. It almost feels like going into hiding.

Tuesday. Three of Cups. Reconciliation. It could be drinks or coffee with a small group of friends. It could be a really good time spent with someone you care about. The way I see it, those birds are tweeting away as they watch the sun set.

Wednesday. Five of Swords. Sometimes sharp words someone else say hurt us. This work is literally cut in half. The wound is deep and it looks really painful. It’s a good idea to avoid conflict if you don’t want to face a painful situation with someone you care about. Watch what you say.

Thursday. The High Priestess. This seems like a break to think about the last few days and how they connect. It’s a good idea to remain calm and to think about things with a level head. That will be what I will try to do; not pass judgment and take it slow instead.

Friday. Four of Coins. Work can be limiting, it could keep us in a routine that we find hard to break out of. When we device a system that works for us, it’s really hard to break out of it once the wheels are spun in motion. It will continue to spin even if by itself, and if we aren’t careful, we may have to run to catch up to it.

Saturday. Three of Wands. This seems like a pause to think, a pause to dream. Notice the sticks are forming a triangle with a void of color. The outside is gray, and I can really relate it to daily life. The weekend feels like a window of clarity and of fun to a week that is otherwise full of routine.

Sunday. The Star. This streak of hope echoes the day before. It signifies a happy weekend full of color and of hope. It is the right time to seek inspiration and guidance for what comes next. Let your passion guide you, and you will find that you knew the way all along.

What to avoid. Six of Cups. Avoid getting rooted into the past. There are always many alternatives that you can take, and the way you look at them depends on you. Depending on the situation you are in, you will find various options. Sometimes you don’t even have to look into solutions that you employed in the past, and that is what this card is telling you.

♡ What to strive for. Seven of Coins.
Work hard for what you want. Sometimes it feels like life happens in stages. You’re not ready to reach the next stage until you can start to visualize what happens next. Once you have a concrete idea of what you want to do next, you will realize that the next step is made available. Take it step by step.

I am doing very well lately. Wishing you a happy week!


(01) The Chariot
Waiting in my house, under siege and soon to be attack. We are all dressed in medieval armor, and I have a sword to protect a very sensible girl. She’s almost like a princess in the dream. Lurking in the shadows outside are bad people that want to take her away.

In the stillness before the invasion, she and I have a heart to heart. We exchange hopes, desires and feelings. For a while the mood lightens and we are able to see eye to eye. She’s really just a normal girl in a difficult situation.

The door opens; I cut a spider’s web and stand by the stairs to wait for them.

Change of scene.
A white computer screen. I receive a trade notification on a digital web site. Recognizing the e-mail as a scam, I click on the real report button and punch in the offending usernames, then click on the ‘send’ button.

Change of scene.
Back in a medieval setting. We travel by foot and wagons with a gypsy caravan. The participants of the pilgrimage stretch back for miles, with colorful clothes and wagons to accompany them. It is near twilight, we will have to settle a camp site soon.

(02) Strength

I happened upon the hospital lobby and it was full of people. It was so full that I barely had room to walk through it. Amongst the crowd was my other Grandmother, the one that I don’t remember meeting. She had gray hair, Hawaiian floral shorts in a bright yellow print, and another Hawaiian floral print for her shirt, this time red with green… or was it blue with green and red accents? You could hardly miss her amongst the throng with a large back pack and hiking boots. She looked ready to go.

When we made it out, she pulled me off to the side and asked me to wait in line for her. I saw her disappear back into the crowd and busied myself with the things I carried with me. The line never moved, and as the hours went I started to grow irritable. Things were looking pretty sour when Mom and Dad walked up to ask me what I was doing there. I gave them the complaint and they started to laugh, then took me by the arm and led me back to where my Grandmother was. She greeted them happily; together they were a merry bunch, but I was still sour.

(03) The Hermit
I moved to LA. My parents and I went to Little Tokyo for a stroll. We passed by closed restaurants during the day and went to the movies. There were multiple floors to each theater, and the movie projection rooms were connected. Halfway through our movie, the projection gives out. They tell us we can come back to finish watching it, but thwy have everyone leave. Some guy and his date have a ridiculous mountain of cheese. We do as we are told, but when we want to cpme back inside, they tell us we can’t come in. After explaining to them, they offer us a refund and we set out to look for a restaurant instead. We find some with neon dolls, but a big wooden bar in the door says they’re exclusive or closed.

(04) Wheel of Fortune
You are floating through space. You have dissolved back into nothing, but you have never felt more connected and with purpose. You can see your soul the way that it is, and it looks the same as you remember it. You can see its color and feel its resonance, now a part of the aether.

You know that things will change and that you will once more embody flesh, but you don’t feel it necessary for now. You would rather float.

(05) Justice
The perfect scene of debauchery, with strippers, disco lights and lots of half naked people. Two friends enjoy a bachelor party too much. It gets really rowdy and out of place the more games they play.

Change of scene.
A girl talks to her journal. It looks filthy, covered in mud. A large feather quill writes in the journal, at a right angle and without a hand to guide it. A voodoo entity tells her through writing that it works on all her secrets but that she needs to give the messiah an offering. She offers her book days of her life. She looks ill, demented or possessed. Her eyes are yellow, and the hollows around it are dark. The feather continues to glide over the pages. I heard ominous chanting and felt the presence of the deity.

Waking up.
Invisible hands held me in place. When I woke up, I had the feeling someone had me pinned down and was releasing me.

(06) The Hanged Man
Going in circles around the amusement park, with a view similar to that of the all-seeing eye. You could see the food things as well as the bad. You can see some people enjoying themselves and others causing trouble, but you cold not go inside. You could not be amongst them and feel their excitement and their body heat. The amusement was built around a big top stage, it had open areas to walk through as well as units that you could go inside.

It was as if the whole world was contained inside that amusement park. The people that went in seldom came out. They seemed oblivious of there being anything other than their current situation. This was limbo.

Lately I am waking up blank. I can't remember a few dreams and then I remember them during the day. Sometimes I really blank out and I get nothing


The week got started off on the right foot, and then quickly declined to a problematic situation. Mercury Retrograde has hit where it hurts, and I have been unable to work in peace because of it. It’s an “I told you so” kind of situation, and I can very quickly see where it’s going to go. The voltage at the house is all messed up, leaving us with nothing but one big head ache. I couldn't even sign in to post this entry! I owe you photos...

Monday. The Fool. This card means a fresh start to a new week, an adventure that is now in the works. This is the time to go on an adventure and throw care to the wind. When our whole lives become about routine, we lose ourselves in our work, and become instead what we do.

Tuesday. Five of Swords. This is a painful disappointment, a clash with someone that could prove problematic or hurt our feelings. The mental conflict can also express hurt in the Five of Swords.

Wednesday. The Hierophant. Hello, old friend. I haven’t seen this card show up in this context for a while. It is a difficult lesson that presents itself. I can’t help but relate it to a person who will provide comfort and wise words in times of need. It is the need for advice and guidance through trialing situations.

Thursday. The Star. There is a streak of hope to pull us though. Whew! This is the card that comes right after the Tower, which is a big shake-up. I feel that it brings soothing energy into the brewing conflict, and sheds a new light on the situation. It may be just what is needed to nurture us.

Friday. Ace of Cups. This is emotional renewal offered in a golden flask. It is an opportunity to find solace in words, in people and in yourself. It is a good time to seek kindness to nurture yourself.

Saturday. Ace of Wands. Passion! Lots of passion, creativity and events. The Ace of Wands presents an opportunity to get creative with projects. This Ace of Wands can also be the strength with which we beat down the problems, the conflicts and the opposition. It's time to take action and not to let others intrude our boundaries.

Sunday. Ten of Wands. Being crushed under the weight, tired and burnt out. It’s real hard to get up and do the things you need to when you feel that the circumstances are working against you. When you resist that opposition, it generates pain and takes a whole lot of effort to keep up. In many instances it can be total burnout.

What to avoid. Seven of Wands. Unnecessary conflict. Sometimes people are just looking for the right circumstances to spark an argument. If you feel them coming at you with your negativity, try to turn your attention someplace else. It isn’t fair to have to face a bunch of problems that somebody else is trying to impose on you. You may already have enough problems of your own.

What to strive for. Page of Wands. Seek a spark of passion, seek solutions where people only see problems. Stay true to your convictions; follow through with your actions, regardless of what anybody else says. You have what it takes to make things go as you want, even if it isn’t always the easy route.