DISNEYLAND: GALAXY'S EDGE



Yesterday I hauled ass over to Anaheim with the intention of finding a distraction and giving my heart some respite from the massive storm that has been thundering and rolling over it without mercy. I got up at 7, spent no time at all getting dressed and was soon out the door. Made it to the park around the time it opened, and had a tough time with the flashbacks that came for me like silver bullets. I remembered the park since my last visit and saw live afterimage-type flashbacks from the last time I was there. This time was so different.

Disneyland is the place where dreams come true, apparently. It was once. I had come here before and had my dreams come true. Walking around I felt my heart flutter. I wanted to share the milestone day with Chris and I decided to push the thoughts from my mind. I just tried to have the most fun I could. Any time my mind would take me there I'd stare off into space and check out for a few minutes.

I know I talk about him a lot but the breakup is just barely over a week old. I still had a great time at the park and took a ton of really great photos.





Made a beeline for Galaxy's Edge because of course. It took my breath away as I walked up to and into the experience. I felt like I had stepped out of California. After standing in line for an hour and flipping out about where I was I made it to Millenium Falcon: Smuggler's Run. To my sheer amazement and delight they handed me the Pilot pass and ushered me into my seat. I was screaming internally, the joy I felt was foreign. I had not squealed for delight or smiled so widely in a long time. When we got started I got the chance to make the Millenium Falcon jump to light speed. I did it twice. The ride was immersive and amazing, it was super fun. I screamed and got into it as if I was there. 10/10 would recommend the ride.








Tried to make reservations to buy a lightsaber but it was all full up, so I will have to wait to come back to get one. My wallet thanks them. As I moved over to the First Order's camp out I witnessed some scenes I couldn't document but thoroughly enjoyed. I picked up luggage tags and lapel pins to commemorate my visit. So much amazing merch, though. The area is completely immersive and stunning. I can't glow about it enough.








The first ride I went on after that was Haunted Mansion. It was as amazing as I remember. I went through all of Adventureland, did Indiana Jones twice. The ride is exhilarating. I got to see both, first row. Indiana Jones is by far their most exciting ride for me. Afterwards I went to Tomorrowland and did Buzz Lightyear: Astro Blasters, Star Tours x 2, also saw both rides. Combed through Fantasyland, missed out on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. Saw the parade, went back on Indiana Jones. Took a break, went to Alien Pizza Planet.

As night fell I knew the moment was coming. I dared myself to go back on Space Mountain. Now called Hyperspace Mountain . I missed the stars last time I went because I didn't feel good during the ride, and I spent it all with my eyes closed. I dared myself to do it again and to see the stars this time. I was trembling as I scanned in my phone, and walked slowly up the path. This was the most difficult experience for me. I couldn't breathe and I was shaking. Inside the ride waiting room I was freaking out. When the time came I sat and started mumbling. The stranger next to me asked if I was okay. I told him why I was there and the couple in front of me turned around to say the ride was different and that I would love it. Off we went.

During the climb I chanted my usual "why do I do this to myself?" The Imperial March surrounded us as we got launched into space. I saw the stars this time, and so much more. We had lasers fired at us and I saw Star Wars ships. I hung on as hard as I could. The stars look so tiny, and there are so many of them present as the ride weaves through the mechanical abyss. The sound of the rails rages in my ears as I do my best to stay present and not let the ride overpower me. By the time we slowed down I felt accomplished. It's a ride, there is nothing really to fear about it. But in that moment I was facing my past and I was claiming my power back, and I felt I achieved what I came to do. I walked out with my hollow heart swelling and a sense of pride that I went on that ride alone. The guy sitting next to me during the ride caught up to ask if I was okay, and as we parted ways I set my mind to the next challenge. I had a ticket to Fantasmic, and I made sure to sit right in front and center for this one.



Fantasmic is such an amazing show. It is emotionally compelling and strives to wake the sleeping optimist in the hearts of the viewers. Light show, water show, fire, fireworks, music, performance, dance. It has it all. I love that show and all the tender, loving memories it has provided. I love Disneyland park, and the day my car arrives to Los Angeles I am purchasing an annual pass to celebrate. Even though it started out as a love story, the place became an area of self-exploration and empowerment. I want to go with my friends and I want to experience the joyful magic of the park when I am in a better place mentally.

Now you will deal with me—and all the powers of my imagination!

Yesterday was absolutely perfect. Now I have a lot of catching up on work to do. It has been a week since Chris broke up with me, he keeps me up at night and he is my first thought every morning. Day 7.

More photos to come.
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