+ Visiting California
+ Muse concert
+ First time at a goth club, where I met Hugo and Roger
- My cousin passed away

+ Taking tribal/gothic bellydancing lessons
+ Mending broken connections with the Dark Priest
+ Got the Nusantara Tarot

+ Creatively a good month
+ Saw the rise of a new Hierophant
+ Romancing J
+ Exchanging letters with a stranger

+ J's birthday
+ Farewell celebrations
+ Met Gabe
- Mom fell ill and was rushed to the hospital

- Stressful month
- Went to the hospital every day
+ Had J around to take care of me
+ Mom left the hospital

+ Booked a new ticket to LA
+ Started a tarot dreams blog
+ Farewell celebrations commence

+ Correspondence with the Dark Priest
+ Hung out with my friend Gabe
+ Got back into gaming

+ Grandpa's 85th birthday celebration!
+ Met up with the Dark Priest
+ Farewell celebrations
+ Started a new life in Los Angeles

+ Met Kim and Hugo
+ Met Crystal
+ Met Bre, Adam & Ricky
+ Went clubbing often

+ Started a new internship
+ Saw Depeche Mode in concert!!
+ Moved to a new apartment
+ Halloween Fetish Ball… re-encountered Roger
+ Turned 25
+ Mom came to visit

+ Finally started feeling at home in California
+ Friendships started to bloom
+ Steampunk Ball… so much fun!
+ Sustainable Voyager Therapy… met James Wanless
+ Thanksgiving with Jaime's family

+ Bitchcraft Bazaar… saw Marcella Kroll!
+ Winter Fetish Ball & Bar Sinister
+ Visiting Puerto Rico
+ Christmas dinner party
- Started to thin down my tarot collection


Severe. Life-changing. Passionate.

Depeche Mode // Crystal Castles, Grendel, Muse,

01 The day I got news Mom would be okay.
02 This one is lengthy. Celebrations up to moving from Puerto Rico to California were great. Specifically that last day when I caught up with an old friend before coming home to my family to celebrate.
03 Seeing Depeche Mode live. What an experience! I will never forget it.

That's a tough choice, but it is for sure one of the later months of 2013. I'll go with October. That was really a very fun month. It brought with it new acquaintances as well as familiar faces that came back into my life. Love!


Mom: The first half of this year revolved solely around her well-being. I found out how important it is to remind the people that you care about that you love them. It doesn't need to be every day and it doesn't need to be talked about; something as simple as a cuddle or a gesture would do.

Jean: Oh, J… Where would I be if not for you? Words don't do this man justice. He is loving and compassionate, and he is an exemplary person in so many ways. He has taught me the warmth of tolerance and compassion, as well as the sting of sharp words exchanged in impulse. The love he showers me with is unparalleled. I know this sounds really lame, but it is the kind of love they write stories about. You will always be number one.

Arish Lam: This is my dance teacher, who taught me how to come out of my shell. He loves free expression through dance, and really injected a zest for life that I possibly would not have found otherwise. Whenever I went up for a heart to heart with him, I felt electric excitement. I felt that I was talking to a person whose senses and consciousness were in balance, and that was quite refreshing.

Jaime: A college favorite made a strong comeback! We haven't met since we graduated from college in May 7th, 2010. He taught me how important it is to simplify, and when not to give attention to situations that don't merit it. He has such a wonderful heart of gold. Awesome room mate!

Cristy: Came unexpectedly and late during the year, but wow — I love her! She is like the sister that I never had while I was growing up, and I am very happy that we get to have heart to hearts and conversations together. Super lover!

Hugo & Kim: What a sweet, sweet soul. I met you at the least likely place you'd make a friend, but so we clicked. Hugo is a sweetheart, we met at the club and it felt like an instant 'click.' I found out that you don't need to know somebody through and through to care about them, but I do feel that it makes getting to know someone more meaningful. I am really looking forward to peeling back the layers and taking the time to get properly acquainted.

Kim is a sweetheart. I feel lots of endearment when it comes to her, and look forward to get to know her more in the coming year. I resonate deeply with her.

Roger: Hmmm… Where to start? When I first met this person, I brushed him off. I didn't think there was anything in him that could prove to be worthwhile because of the mindset we were in when we met. [I mean come on, we met at a club!] I was wrong. We clicked, and in this person I found a very curious mind and enough material to kill hours in conversation. We are still getting acquainted, but I like him so very much!

Dark Priest: Oh, you… It seems I try to run away, but life always pulls us closer together. It's sheer magnetism, and try as we might, I don't think either one of us can truly get away. This person has always been a major inspiration. He brings out a side of me that many are not acquainted with, and probably won't be. We have had riveting conversations and experiences that make me wonder why we resist the tugs-and-pulls of life. To tell you the truth, we talk to one another less than we actually think about the experience of knowing each other. It is very much a platonic relationship, in which we found in one another high resonance, but have not been able to manifest in it completely. I'm happy to have him in my life.

Ideally, I will be able to visit Florida, Prague or Japan sometime in 2014. I have no plans to travel anywhere other than Puerto Rico, though.

Playing Card Oracles

Depeche Mode
Dave Gahan
Abney Park

I am going to see Kyary Pamyu-Pamyu live as well as Suicide Commando and Combichrist. If lucky,I may also catch VNV Nation and Abney Park live.

In retrospect, the year of the Hanged Man was very tough. Adding up 12, you get 3 for Empress. My mother’s health problems were the cause for much concern and hesitation. I knew that there was a reason why my life was keeping me enslaved in Puerto Rico, but had not imagined it would be this serious. I must reaffirm that everything happens for a reason. Things don’t happen without consequence, and we must be willing to accept that fact if we want to move on.

I learned to feel friendship rather than hope for it. After years of dreaming with healthy interpersonal relationships and hoping to connect with others, I found that it happens when you are truly open with your heart. Try not to pay so much attention to the friendships that don’t work out. I learned this year that life will naturally weed people out of your life that don’t need to be there. Even if you care for them dearly, let them go if you feel life is taking them away from you. Further down the line, you will be able to see why they had to go.

I might not have a favorite month or moment, but I know that I am very thankful for all the tough lessons that I learned in 2013. I won't forget all of the lessons that I learned through trial, error and tears.

Happy new 2014!!!


Whoa! What a loving week. It seems to be centered around emotions, and reactions that we have to our environment when we are in a more sensible mindset. I get the sense of having an open heart, and openness in general when it comes to feeling influences around you. The energy suggests embracing someone even after they have made a mistake, and being compassionate before those less tolerant. There is the feeling of a loving shield to bounce back the negativity, which can be quite useful if you remain open to radiate love and compassion.

How have you been doing lately? I have been swimming in the sea of happiness. It certainly does feel as if 2013 is drawing to a close, and in the spirit of winding down the year, I am starting to feel the coming of a new year. The feeling of shedding old skin is certainly relevant here and should be taken advantage of. Go ahead, shake off all of that stuff that you feel you would be doing better without, and prepare yourself to accept new things in your life. I am trying my hand at cleansing and attracting manifestations, and thus far find it useful.

Yesterday I sat before my friend Marcella Kroll as she read the game of fate for me. With each card that she turned over, she delivered messages that struck deep personal cords. I resonated with everything she told me, as the reading was grounded in the present and made so much sense. She told me that this next New Moon in the new year will be very important. It is relevant to a person spending their first new year in a new city they have just moved to. There is change manifesting everywhere, and this is a great time to ride that wave of change. Be ready to embrace a new you, whether you took the brave step of moving someplace entirely new or not.

The Victorian Romantic Tarot 2nd Edition comes with two Lovers cards. Some people choose just one to use in readings, based off which card they resonate with the most. It could just be that one card depicts the idea of what the Lovers card means for that person more accurately. Seeing both Lovers cards coming up side by side was a pretty big surprise, and can be interpreted as different sides to love. It can also be a separate dynamic dealing with personal perceptions.

This week we also have the presence of two monarchs of the court.

Monday. Queen of Swords. Drawing wisdom from hard experience. Harshness towards fools or anyone trying to take the advantage. Defensiveness and good judgment, even under pressure.

I feel from her a disconnect from her surroundings. She’s there, but her mind is elsewhere. She has an invisible wall up that people won’t dare cross; it is an air of intimidation present.

Tuesday. Emperor. Rigid structure. Sometimes you need to conform your parameters to please somebody else. When there are responsibilities present, I turns into we, and a conscious effort will have to be made to do what is best for the team and not just for yourself. Be a team player and assume responsibility where it is needed, that will be the basis of your success.

Wednesday. Ace of Wands. Passion, swiftness and complete surrender. This signifies a moment full of action; it can be to take a dive or a big risk into something that you are not sure is the best option for you.

Thursday. Ten of Cups. Rejoice! There is so much happiness present with the arrival of a new family member in this card. Celebrate life, celebrate everything you have and the wonderful people that you are spending your life with. They will make a difference; once you feel the change, you just need to go with it.

Friday. Queen of Wands. Passion. She embodies all that is wild and frivolous. I think this is my favorite of the Victorian Romantic Tarot court cards. Her pose is regal, and she looks at you like she means business. I love her spark; she seems quite charming to me. A lot of fire, for sure!

Saturday. The Lovers. This card is one of pure devotion and surrender to another person. The motion suggested in this card is quite beautiful, because it shows how the embrace begins from the moment that the bodies attract. She lands in his arms, and for a moment you get the anticipation of what it will feel like when she does. Magic! What a card of sweet, sweet surrender into the arms of somebody special.

Sunday. The Lovers. This card depicts a more controlled romance; this kind of romance is idealistic and minded for public exposure. It is the guise assumed when you step out in public. Eyes will be on you and you must be mindful of your actions, because others will be watching you. It isn't as romantic as the one from the card previous; rather, it is a very different kind of love. It does not seem loving or affectionate in any form other than that of respect.

What to avoid. Knight of Swords. Quit rushing into things. Make time instead to think things through. Actions will have consequences, no mater how much you may try to disregard them. There will be responsibility for your words as well as what you do, and you have to be careful not to sacrifice something that you love in the process.

What to strive for. Two of Coins. Juggle the circumstances until you have a comfortable grip on it. it takes practice to get something right, but if you practice for long enough, you just might have all that you need.

Looks good. I hope you are ready to tackle this week with me!


Last week was so much fun. I can't even begin to tell you how much I have enjoyed myself. The weekend was a big manifestation of love and freedom, which I feel ecstatic to absorb. It feels like the circumstances are falling into place and I am going to be able to feel my way through. It's pretty liberating to be given the chance to enjoy the blessings of acceptance.

This week seems like a real challenge. In the spread itself, the cartomantic number 5 is one of instability and much conflict. It disrupts the balance of cards that are otherwise perfectly symmetrical, and in turn affects much in the same way.

I have never before had such a negative reading in my blog, but it is the week of my Mother's operation and I am very nervous about how it's going to go. I hope that everything goes well and stabilizes soon; from the look of it, it won't be easy at all.

Monday. Knight of Coins. Seems like a slow but productive start to the week. With a steady gallop, you can continue on your way. Be in good cheer and stay balanced.

Tuesday. Six of Cups. Thinking back on the past. Getting lost in memory can be a really sweet thing, especially when you share those memories with someone that resonates with them as well.

Wednesday. Three of Swords. Ouch! News that hit with heartbreak and can cloud our day. It can be something totally unexpected happening that hurts our feelings, but we should still be open to things turning positive.

Thursday. Six of Coins. Working diligently to ensure that things run more smoothly. Sometimes it's okay to ask for help when you need it.

Friday. Five of Cups. What a spill of emotions! This looks really sad. Sometimes we focus on what we are missing and forget about what is still left. Try not to let your emotions get the best of you.

Saturday. Five of Wands. There is so much trouble present; fight after fight, problem after problem. The most important thing is to be aware that there are conflicting circumstances, and that there is always a solution, no matter how dark it looks.

Sunday. The Emperor. Settling down into a routine and looking towards the future. Get organized for the week, outline your plans and follow them through. It takes a lot of discipline to see things through in the manner that you do, but remember that we are not given a heavier burden than we can carry.

What to avoid. King of Wands. Avoid wrath and negativity that stems from pride. You don't always need to be right, you don't have to be the one in control. Learn to be flexible and you will be able to move forward with your plans.

What to strive for. The Hermit. Strive to keep your matters private. Pull back now and then to assess where things are going. Look for a sense of direction and also be open to new ideas making their way into your mind. Be open to creativity, seek a sense of direction and listen to your inner guiding star.

Whether your week turns out easygoing or difficult, make the best of it.