While surfing the Internet I have found a wide variety of exercises to try out with your tarot decks. My favorite ones thus far have been through interviews conducted with the deck in order to get to know it a little better. It could be seen as some bonding time between the tarot reader and his or her tools of the trade. I have always been a fan of making things feel more personalized and cozy!

How do you feel about me? I shuffled for what felt like forever. There were no cards falling out even though I switched the orientation around a couple of times. After five minutes went by, hasty me pulled a card out that was only slightly sticking out.

9 of Swords.
It almost feels as if I’m being scolded when I think of the traditional Rider Waite! Lately my dreams are very crowded with all sorts of people I have encountered in the past year. There are time periods in which I have intense dreams and nightmares consecutively, sometimes up to 5 a night. The time that stretches amongst those dream intensive periods is known as a quiet lull, kind of like a calm before a storm. This has been going on for most of my life intermittently.

I couldn’t help but feel that the Vertigo Tarot’s message to me was that I’m a nightmare to work with. For a moment I felt guilty for riffling it in such a way that it looks so worn four years after getting it. Almost as if I was being scolded for not taking proper enough care of the deck, even though I intend on using it until it literally falls apart.

In the 9 of Swords, the person in the card is barely noticeable. The swords represent the problems of the mind and are so blown up that they become the primary subject — almost the only subject visible. The 9 of Swords depicts the problems are so blown out of proportion that a person can’t see a solution or the way ahead. The problems have grown into large crystal-like formations that obtrude the view. At a personal level I can say that I let my problems overwhelm me to the point that I get stuck. It is a very similar feeling to that of the 8 of Swords, in which the woman is bound up and unable to move because there are so many swords — or problems — around her.

In the companion book, the swords are addressed as cruelty and despair surrounding an eye that faces them without flinching. When compared to the current situation I am going through with my family, it is extremely relevant. Quoth, “the picture is frightening, even gruesome in its implications; but it is also courageous. We get a feeling that nothing, no pain or cruelty or oppression will make the person look away and deny the truth.” It is true that the person has to go through a lot of pain to arrive at the truth, and that’s where I am at present. The companion book tells me that I will continue to be surrounded by the pain and the suffering until I break out of that wall that is keeping me imprisoned. This covers the emotional and physical entrapment of being in Puerto Rico as well as the underlying problems of my family.

The tarot is telling me that I am enduring a painful or cruel situation without looking away. While that is very true, I don’t know how to get myself out of it. It is indeed a manifestation of the 8 of Swords presented in the pain of the 9 of Swords.

I shuffled again, but this time a card popped out and landed on the floor. When I went to retrieve it, I saw that it had turned itself over to reveal the contents.

8 of Cups.
Water. Emotions. I feel that it tries to make clarity of all the things that have shifted out of focus only when you go looking for new alternatives. The deck could be basically telling me that it wants to serve as a reminder that when things aren’t working, people are meant to move on. This could be to search for their true happiness or calling, an incitement to begin the journey once more. I feel like it portrays a situation that has been blurred to the point of the facts turning into muddled secrets. Vertigo tries to take those muddied waters elsewhere, flowing through the subconscious and taking only the things that need to be mentioned.

In the companion book it states that the cups are to the side but not spilled. If turned back to stand, they would be perfectly placed! It could be that the Vertigo Tarot takes the worst situations and looks for the positive aspect of each one. Even if people aren’t satisfied with what is going on in their lives, it looks like they can work with what they have to reach a higher level of progress or success.

I’m touched. It feels as if I am meeting my old friend for the very first time! The Vertigo Tarot companion book has been lying neglected in my room for years. It shows major signs of wear because I used to take it with me everywhere so that I could study it, but then I let it go when I decided that I wanted to learn the dialogue amongst the cards intuitively. The journey thus far has been beautiful, and I learn more and more every day! I feel as if I have been giving Vertigo an even darker positive outlook than was originally intended!

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