I used to have this same deck, but the printing was sometime from 2010. The borders were thicker and more clunky. I had the first edition tucked away in my drawers for years. It’s there still. Shrink-wrapped, collector’s copy. It cost me a pretty penny back then because it was out of print, hard to find but still very sought after. I loved it ever since I first laid eyes on it. I couldn’t bring myself to break the AGMüller seal. Pristine, never before touched. The wrapper is worn with time, but still conserved in its binding. I wanted to keep it that way… so I did. I go through great lengths to ensure that the value of my collection stays intact. Really extreme measures in fact, and because of that effort, it has.
I got the previous deck from some obscure bookstore all the way out in Spain. I had no idea if the deck would come, but I placed my faith into it and three weeks later two decks came. One for J, one for myself. When I opened it, the paper stock was different and the ISBN number on the box had changed. The box had a different hue to it and I thought it was a counterfeit deck. Then I realized it was just a different printing, and my experience with that deck was never quite as magical as I knew it could be. Paper does a lot for us, and so do borders. I came SO CLOSE to trimming them off. Come to think of it, it might have made the deck really pop. But the gold back rubbed off and I just wasn’t feeling it. If it’s not right, it can’t be forced! That’s how it works with decks. I would know after collecting 272 of them.
The cards fall on the table, and they glow. They have this etheric shine to them. The gold glimmers from the borders make me feel like I’m having a spiritual experience. I am. I feel these cards.
A sense of oneness with yourself is as important as a sense of oneness with your partner. It feels like coming home, as I’ve heard lovers say they were. Nurturing the spirit by night, nurturing yourself with proper rest. Don’t worry so much about what is on the other side, if your side has weeds growing and things to tend to. Look inside, find all the colors and associations to life that actually live within you. Recognize the efforts you go through in order to breathe life into your works, take time to really appreciate what is there and in front of you. Care for it. If there are things not yet coming into being, they will soon. The gaps are bridged in your life when you are ready to move forward. And when you do, there is always somebody waiting for you on the other side.
There is someone waiting for me on the other side. I feel it. I know it. I accept it. I am cared for and protected, but as of now I feel like I am by myself. I have so much to work on still, and life keeps throwing curve balls at me. And still I avoid and I find a way. There is always a way.
Being a Seeress is not easy. I have to face the expectations of others. They project their wants onto me, and I have to find a way to deliver the truth to them in a way they will be open to hear it. They aren’t always. Sometimes they ask the same question over and over and over because they think that checking once more will actually bring out the message they want to hear. Not the one that I have for them. I’ve got to jump a lot of hurdles at work, people don’t realize how much they project their greed out. But still, the message is what it is. I don’t ever give personal opinion. I don’t tell them what they want to hear so they can be happy. I tell them what comes up in the reading, and so in time they come to understand why things ran the way they did when they kept asking the same question over and over.
When you tune into the inside, you begin to understand things in a new way. I understand the High Priestess now, because I have become one in my years practicing high magic and many forms of divination. I understand the value of silence, and I also understand seeing things from other places not of our world, but not being able to share them until the time is right for others. A divine channel, and that is what we become years after starting our journey as diviners. We become open channels for spirit.
My favorite decks come along with me for my adventures. The newly published (then) Victorian Romantic Tarot accompanied me to the 2014 Steampunk Symposium. I took the standard size and almost lost the Two of Cups in the volunteer room. Thankfully, I remembered to do a careful sweep with my eyes and something told me to look under the table. There were like three cards there!
This weekend I will likely take the cards with me to my adventures in the club, dancing to Depeche Mode and sipping on some wine… or champagne. Cheers!