This explains everything. Thank you, Social Repose. The Empress EP did something for me. It shed a lot of light on my own inner shadows, imperfections that I have wrestled with and buckled under.

Do you ever have those moments in which your soul looks itself in the mirror and the mirror cracks? You stand there for a moment, stunned. The seconds roll by seemingly on tap, but you're there in the middle of it with no notion of time passing. You are more focused on the highlights and definition of a personal discovery. Becoming more conscious of the self sometimes comes with shock and jolt. Your vision slowly starts to expand, dark spaces have light shed on them and you begin to fill in the blanks. You make more sense of yourself and get acquainted with the parts of you that nobody could possibly love, but it's still you and you have to learn how to love yourself somehow.

I've had those moments recently. They have kept me introspective for days. At the end of it, I am more patient with myself. Kinder and more accepting. Understanding my flaws has brought acceptance, and acquiesced the war that broke out within me such a long time ago. I waged the most brutal of wars with myself, but that's pretty much over now. And for that I am immensely thankful.

Coming out of dark times with a better understanding of your shortcomings and limits is necessary. I have gotten so much better at saying no, at respecting other peoples' boundaries and definitely at having my own boundaries be respected. I started to take care of myself and found so many answers to questions that needed tending to. And here I am, a work in progress but loads happier. But most importantly, I am at peace. This was definitely not an easy state of mind to achieve.

In light of the Social Repose public scandal, some of us have found our own personal truths. It is definitely possible to learn or gain new perspective from someone else's mistakes. Sometimes you can see two sides of yourself reflected in two people whose lives are alien to you, but whose feelings you deeply resonate with. That's so intense! There is definitely quite a bit of darkness being exposed, and watching them endure it under public scrutiny has made examples of both of them.

I am first and foremost grateful for these lessons. Grateful to Richie and Jaclyn for being brave enough to confront this difficult time and still have the courage to share their thoughts on the Internet. I am also grateful to those who have shown me compassion at times when I have most needed it, even if I don't necessarily deserve it. I am grateful to those who respected and protected my boundaries even if they disagreed with my actions or point of view. They set some great examples. I feel grateful to having been given the space to pick my life back up after the disasters I went through in years past. I am still a work in progress, but I am doing better every day.

Let's turn to the cards. There are quiet conversations yet to be had.

How can we learn from our dark nature?

Four cards fall on the table. Ten of WandsEight of Swords The WorldQueen of Swords

It starts with staying away from messy situations and with not loading ourselves with more weight than we can carry. It's so easy to get consumed by the extra weight we needlessly carry. So much weight gets placed on our shoulders, and some of those burdens make no sense to slave to. We build our own mental prisons with walls to keep help out, in fear of personal attack. The worst thing we can do to ourselves is wage wars with the mirror. The Queen of Swords sees her stoic face reflecting back from the blade of her sword. She revels in her solitude, her words are her gift to the rest and her contribution to this world.

We can learn not to resist circumstances, as that generates pain. We can open ourselves up to accept the world as it is, interacting with it and being ready to defend ourselves and our position. There is so much going on around us; it feels like our home planet is enduring challenge after challenge. In a place where there are so many opinions and paths of life, no two people share the same experiences or perspectives 100%. We need to endorse tolerance, and we also need to protect our personal space. Boundaries keep us comfortable for as long as we need, and the moment somebody oversteps ours we tend to fight back. We need to hold ourselves at the standard we have defined ourselves to be at, and sometimes that includes setting examples or making examples of other people.

Hello, signifier. Its been a while since I have seen you. Cool and calm Queen of Swords, how I've missed you. You choose how your interactions go and you are so impeccable with your words. 🗡🗡🗡

Advice from the cards,

The MoonSix of CupsKing of CoinsSix of Wands

Do as the most stable of your friends do. Don't get absorbed into the manic mindsets, intense and messy feelings, or in the confusion of not being able to see what's ahead. Not knowing can be maddening when you're asking yourself. Don't dwell on that which you no longer have any power over. If it's in the past, that's where it stays. You can't change it or how others feel about it, but you can look after yourself and you can do better. You can strive to be stronger and not to act on impulse. Think things through before you act and you may find you left the murk of confusion in your past, where it belongs.

In conclusion,
I have to admit that I've been thinking about this for so long now. I have started opening up to people and telling them about some of my inner battles. Being vulnerable and sharing something less than glamorous about yourself is really hard to do, it certainly takes courage. But for those of us who don't wish to be caught in the same cycle year after year, relationship after relationship; the work needs to be done. It's not easy, it's certainly not pleasant to go through, but it's necessary.

Take it slow, breathe. Take some personal space, let others make their decisions. Live with your own. Do no harm but take no shit. In other words, move on and don't look back.

It's interesting how life works. I've had so much to contemplate over the past few months. Grateful for all the light being shed in the darkest patches. Mysteries spring to life and understanding. And yet, I'm not perfect. I will likely have relapses and I will likely continue to make mistakes, but I want to improve and that's what I set out to do.

Thanks for reading.

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