I started this blog column just last week. It's quite simple. After a thorough shuffle to the Vertigo Tarot deck, I pulled an Ace as the starting point and then I went from there. I placed the card under my pillow and I recorded the dreams the day after. Sometimes the details get lost; at other times the dreams are quite vivid and make for easy recollection. As loosely related as they are to the cards, there is some worth in them that is quite personal, therefore invaluable. The entries are listed daily on the Tarot Diary Tumblr I created, but you can also find them here on a weekly basis if this is the platform you prefer.
I plan to go through a few decks this way, and hope that my readers will be inspired to do the same. There will be days in which I don't remember my dreams at all, but that's just the luck of the draw.
(01) Wednesday. Ace of Coins. A bed large enough to swim in. Red, yellow, white, brocade and velvet. Round like a coin, stiff but dreamy. It welcomes you.
Once friends, brothers.Two villainous masterminds have it in for one another, and they employ the use of academia to give each other a go. One plays the game to knock the other out of the tower he studies in, and the other fills with rage when he finds out.
They wage war by setting free super bugs into the environment; tiny spiders, scorpions and other kinds of curiosities escaping name. They fall on the earth, our mother land and scurry. Before you know it, these stingers start to multiply. They are placed on a special radar and under observation, but they’re in nature now.
Greens, pale browns and greys. Nature welcomes them and the other natural animals in the ecosystem meet their match. A new cycle starts.
(02) Thursday. Two of Coins. I found myself in a simpler time, and was confused by what I saw. Running over the details of my graduation from high school and college, I questioned why I was back in that blue pleated skirt, the white polo and blue vest uniform. It feels like high school again, but this school is co-ed. That’s different. Looking for my beloved as usual in dreams, I find him at the other end of the room. Looking for him in a room full of people. His black hair is teased up and his white streak is back. He is sore and he keeps his distance. The afternoon is spent moving from desk to desk and arguing. My character. My aversion to somebody important to him.
At nighttime the school is set up differently. There are strobe lights at the entrance and people file in, handing their tickets over. It’s all the same to the way it used to be before. Looking for him still, coming across a circle of the nuns dressed comfortably. In meeting with the principal, the setting shifts to the same classroom in which I argued with my beloved that afternoon. The desks had been arranged differently. Instead of catching up with the nun, I confess how hard it was to almost lose the most important person in my life and I describe how it felt. I feel lighter, and I smile when I realize my Mom is still okay.
We exchange e-mails and hers is more complicated than mine. Looking over her shoulder, I realize that Dad secretly entered and won the raffle.
(03) Friday. Three of Coins. Everything as far as the eye can see is silver in this world. A castle erected in honor of a generous king lies over flat lands and vast terrain. It is like a mirror reflecting the light of the sun or the mysterious glare of the moon.Tall, with turret towers and high vaults. It is sharp and whimsical.
Out rides a knight clad in mirror armor. He seeks to make an honest man of himself in a labor of love towards his kingdom. He goes on horse towards the plains, fearless, aware that this is the start of a new journey. He is about to dedicate his life to this cause, but he knew all along that was what he wanted. What he leaves behind is for the greater good.
(04) Saturday. Four of Coins. I’ve been here before, but it looks different. Everything always looks different; everything always changes. Why do I come back here so often? Is it the place or is it what I do here? All these questions I ask myself, but I’m neither here nor there. I’m traveling from one dream into another, and for a moment consciousness touches the surface of being awake.
I’m back at school but this time it’s college. Same buildings as before, but set in another town. As I walk, I see people that are no longer alive. We wave and smile, but I keep walking. I didn’t really have time to stop and talk to them even though I would very much have liked to. The destination is the computer laboratory, but the walk takes much longer than usual to get there. I’m walking along the same square, but I’m not making much progress.
The sun is setting over the school grounds, which are more arid than I remember. The college greens used to be bountiful, but now they seem a little dried up.
The scene twists and turns like an M.C. Escher painting. Down is now up, right is now left, things go up side down only to go back up again. It doesn’t feel any different to be standing on vertical ground.
(05) Sunday. Five of Coins. What a boring place. A three story appliance store run by three brothers, three floors of tools and household wares. I am waiting by the door for my friend, looking at a girl using her cell phone and remembering simpler times. Times in which the text message was just about to rise and we had to rely on instant messengers instead. The man at the topmost floor is leaning back agaimst the rails with his leg up on the merchandise cart nearest to him. He’s despicable. The third brother is nowhere to be seen and the second one cuts us a sweet deal.
I take the box to my friend’s truck and we start small talk. Let’s call her “Fabiola”. Her friend “Phoebe” gets to the lot. An eclectic bad kid, with bright pink lips and thick rimmed glasses. A few yards away, the streets are swarmed with cars. We decide to stay a while to talk and sit by their cars.
I’m sitting the further from the two of them in an isosceles trinity. Ecstatic, Phoebe pulls out a knife and asks her friend to give her a new pink scar. I wince; they start to fight over it. I pull them apart, in doing so the knife flies up and comes back down, slicing my palms and Phoebe’s arm. Her eyes light up and she pounces me instead. I find myself on my back. This happened in seconds, my hands aren’t bleeding but this all got scrambled up real quick.
Fabiola brings the knife down on her feral friend and stands over her. She’s the angel of death and there is blood everywhere, but somehow not in my hands. Green light shines out from Fabiola’s heart chakra and engulfs them both. Both their figures are shrouded in the bright green, but I find myself lying outside of it.
We end up colliding into responsibility. I put my hands over my face and say this is all gone wrong. Sitting back, I look at the appliance store while sirens are fast approaching.
The sun starts to set, while the patrol cars are parked, the rest of the city seed nothing. I’m out in the street and then I pull my phone from my pocket.
(06) Monday. Six of Coins. I’m going through a palace. Different rooms, different decorations and conditions. Indoors, outdoors. The most impressive of which is an underground tunnel for medieval monks to escape through. It’s hot, like an underground burrow. I saw my hands patting the ground in front of me, digging through as a mole presumably would. The earth was damp and a little bit muddy, but it didn’t stain my hands. It was as if I wasn’t really there. Weightless in a dark place, but even without light, the eyes could see. I didn’t feel comfortable, though. Luckily, there were several escape routes from the escape route and I took that one out. The planes stretch long and far, green and beige. The castle walls are white with beautiful mosaics. Blues, ocres and assorted earth colors.
I’m at the mall just browsing around. I get the idea that I’m looking for a new day planner or diary. It doesn’t take long to find Moleskines and leather bound books in assorted colors with gold or silver lining. The right fit is black with silver edges, — nice touch, — plain on the outside and lined on the inside. I’ll take it. A pair comes up to try to talk me out of getting it, but my mind is made up and this is the one I want. They stand guard outside a fitting room I escape to, so I sit and wait. The minutes seem like hours, the period of wait is long. One of the girls tries to crawl under the fitting room door and finds me sitting. When she asks me what I am doing, I tell her I am thinking. As soon as she climbs back out, I slip away from the stall and go to the register. The three of them pass me from one to the other; they are bored and don’t really want to be there. Finally, the first one to decline decides to check my item out.
An ominous feeling washes over me. I turn around and find the store completely empty.
(07) Tuesday. Seven of Coins. I’m at a basketball court with my beloved. We sit side by side holding hands, but he is once more disgruntled at me. His little brother plays in the team. He seems much healthier than in real life; a real happy soul.
I go for a walk to clear my head and realize this is the basketball court from 4th to 7th grade, Carvin School. Day dreams of the good old days flashed by, interrupted by the one I love and his Dad walking past. It was a rare sight; at that moment there was no love between us, no passion or attraction. Just the game, just the circumstance. We wave at one another but say nothing.
Climbing back into the bleachers, I look around. The game is really packed. Seemingly, so is the subconscious. With my chin in my hands, I continue to watch the game. My mind starts to wander and I day dream about the future; what are my possibilities?
Change of scene. The three of us sat in a car. Who are they, though? A girl and a man. I sat in the back. There was not much of a verbal exchange save for them. One loved the other, the other one didn’t. She was in tears, then he went quiet.