MY 26TH BIRTHDAY

There has been so much going on! Sometimes I want to pause my life because I have the need to compose diary entries to share on my blog. It seems that if the task is not done ahead of time and left prepared, it will get left for later. It has been one full month since I turned 26, but I want to share some memoirs with you.

2014 really toughened me up. It taught me that not everyone is my friend, even though I know that I want to see and believe the best in people. I want to be proven wrong all the time, but I have had many conflicting situations. It seems the conflicts are in the fact that people put their needs first and foremost. If you do not meet the criteria to fit in their plans, you might find yourself standing on the outside of what you take to be a mutual relationship. This is just generalizing, but I speak in reference to the relationship I had with people this year.

I faced many disappointments with some of the people closest to me. My best friend going on ten years now decided to cut me out of her life. I was a positive driving force in her life, but according to her, our friendship had run its course. Well, I respect that and I wish her well. She helped me immensely, but when I think about it, so did I. And that's okay.

Ever since I started letting go or being let go, I found how free I felt. I've always cared more about honoring others than my own self. Finding the freedom not to get involved in such a direct manner has really helped me get past the things I used to mourn. I feel free, and I feel more my own than I did when I started this winding journey of being 25.

Compassion was a big lesson this year. I learned how to love with compassion, and to trust my intuition when it comes to manifesting that love for others. I found that those that were open to it also opened themselves up, and gave me an experience the likes of one I've never had before. I'm so grateful for that opportunity!

What else? In the past year I went from recently moved into an empty apartment space to making it more homey. I visited Puerto Rico two times, for a month each time. My Mom visited me in LA twice as well, with the duration of hers being two weeks. I got to spend some time with J, although the distance made it almost impossible to spend as much time with him as I would have wanted to. He knows me, he gets me, he understands me much better than anybody else does. I think that these four years of intimate interaction have really helped one another understand our most essential cores. I look forward to meeting him again in December. It's going to be surreal!

With great pride I want to announce that my tarot card collection is complete. This year I got all I had left, and I feel wondrously connected to them. So happy! Unfortunately, I don't have space for all of them, so I will have to sell some of the duplicates or copies that will not get any use. Stay tuned for that! Many out of print and hard to get jewels!

My friendships are still a work in progress. The problem is that I am constantly seeking, and that is something that blossoms naturally. You can't force it and you can't decide when it's going to happen. Oh please, oh please Universe... send me some local friends that are passionate and respectful! I want brainstorming buddies, people to take photos with and then go dancing, drinking or feasting with. Give me zest for life! I'd love to meet some sister souls soon.

I've come to terms with the way time changes things, even if it doesn't help us go in the direction we want to go. This adventure has been the most serious one in my life. Nothing was planned, but I'm in for a Hell of a ride.




[Mom! Nooo! You closed your eyes!]

On the day of my birthday, I went to the Getty Villa. It was like stepping into the ancient Greek and Roman world! Then we went to a place called Moonshade for drinks and french fries. (!!!) After that, we got stuck in traffic for about two hours, then I met my friends at Masa for some really amazing pizza. At the end of the night, I had been showered with so much love that my heart chakra was hyper activated. I felt so intensely, that it made me very fragile. I wept in gratitude for all the love I was given. Thank you for being a part of it!

Let's see what happens this year. I can't wait to come out the other side... If I do.
♡♡

HELLO WITCHES Nº111

This week is so spade heavy! Wow! As you can probably tell, this is not a tarot deck. I have begun my voyage in cartomancy to expand my skills as an expert with the cards. I have embraced a whole new way to work with the cards, and look forward to sharing with you.
Spades are the element of Earth. They represent the direction of the North and they are the heaviest of the suits. They represent labor, career, housing, the physical body, discipline, and responsibility.

Clutters of Spades represent conflicts, clash, and hard sports in your life. Feeling trapped or boxed in. It says in the Playing Card Oracles book that they represent difficulties and challenges within the deck. They address tough issues that must be dealt with in real terms.

Wow, these cards can really sing. I can’t wait to do demonstrations for this blog on how to read with this deck properly. A review is coming soon as well!

The concepts in this post are actually mostly paraphrased and some even taken directly from the Playing Card Orales book by Ana Cortez. While I use intuition to read them, I am still studying this system and credit the book fully for the information presented here. The intellectual property belongs to Ana Cortez and her father, CJ Freeman.



♡ Monday. 11♦. Dango.
Someone could be manifesting in your life as a diva, looking for attention and their own self-interested agenda. They will be daring under any circumstance, and won’t resist to do something risky for an audience. It feels like it could be manifesting an irresponsible tendency. To me it seems like pushing limits and boundaries that have been established.

♡ Tuesday. 5♠. Circle of Crows.
Feeling trapped or ganged up on because of circumstances. What’s the way out? Hard to tell. It can feel like being at a crossroads without not one road being more promising than the other. It shows uncertainty, frustration and lack of satisfaction. It also depicts you feeling like the victim.

♡ Wednesday. 4♠. North Wind.
A strong, unsettling energy. Motivations that might go against you. Need to seek protection from powerful forces. I feel like it’s deep and can lead to problems if you let it.



♡ Thursday. A♠. Terra Incognita.
An ending that will pave the way for a new beginning. This card means death, loss and is the heaviest of the Aces. It means something concealed, stands for secrets. It also stands for change and the possibility of regeneration. You can’t resist changes, sometimes you just have to go with them.

♡ Friday. 3♠. The Grave.
Time to let go. Burying the things from the past that no longer serve you. A burden being carried.

What are you carrying that you can let go of? Unburden your shoulders, give yourself a chance to lay something to rest even though you clearly don’t want to. Loss is painful.

♡ Saturday. 8♥. The Garden.
The Garden. Labor of love. Supporting others with selflessness. Temptation. Beauty and charm.

Things that attract us can be very delicate, so we need to treat them with respect. When you see something that you admire, respect it. Learn when not to touch.



♡ Sunday. 9♥. Gilles de Rais.
Extreme emotions that can overwhelm. Vulnerability. Compulsion. Sorrow that flows. Compassion. Selfless caring.

When we open up our hearts to others, we become very vulnerable at the same time. We let others see parts of us that are hard for us to show them. With our soul exposed, we have nowhere to hide. It can lead us to extreme manifestations of emotion when we are hurt, because we can be easily hurt when we really invest ourselves in something.

♡ What to avoid. 9♠. Throne of Spiders.
Try not to work yourself to the bone. Overworking yourself is not taking care of yourself. Energy drain. A heavy burden. Co-dependence. Bad company. Need to let go. Peers leading you in a poor direction.

Predatory cards like this seem like warnings to me. On one hand, it could be working your hands off. Working yourself to exhaustion. I feel like on the flip side it could be someone that wants to take something from you and that could really harm you.

♡ What to strive for. 2♠. The Enemies.
Separate one fact from another when you don’t agree. If you are prone to arguments, let it happen because it is a natural thing. Sometimes you just can’t oppose nature, you have to clash with it.

Isn’t this deck beautiful? I can't wait to share more with you!
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HELLO WITCHES Nº110

Talk about loaded! This is the most Major Arcana cards I have seen on a Hello Witches blog post. Jeez… the whole week is riddled with them! Save for two Minor Arcana cards, this whole spread is dominated. I decided to pull a clarity card on what is so big about this matter, and surprise, surprise! Another Major Arcana card pops up. All right, I get it. Let’s deal with what is coming!
I have been itching to delve into some tarot history. Finally, I took a dive and bout Il Menenghello’s Soprafino Tarot. It hasn’t arrived yet, and in my itch that I so desperately needed to scratch, I marched over to Amazon Prime and got myself the Ancient Italian Tarot. I am delighted by everything about it until we get to the card backs. Ugly! Murky! I want to paint over them with black acrylic. White would be nice, too. I'm actually going to go over it and write the meanings for the pips. Gypsies used to do it, some of my online friends do it too and I love the result. Photos soon!



♡ Monday. The Devil. What evils have you trumped? Which beasts have you conquered? The Devil card is really resonating with me lately because of the Ritual of Triumph I am participating in. It’s okay to accept yourself as you are, to like yourself for what you are rather than for what you are not. I have come to accept myself with all of my strengths and all of my weaknesses as well. It’s part of who I am and I am excited to be experiencing this colorful adventure that is my life.

♡ Tuesday. The Magician. See, he has attained his status. But has it been through trickery or hard work? It’s hard to tell. He seems perfectly equipped but his facial expression leaves a lot to be questioned. Regardless, drink. Life is too short to worry about who is after you, when all you need to focus on is on doing things yourself. Resourcefulness means you can do all your own work without having to rely on outsourcing.

♡ Wednesday. The Fool. Not at all ready. What is going on here? We go from having all the tools to being on the move and losing our right shoe. Intuition will have to lead, because the side of ourselves that relies on action is a little vulnerable. Yet we step forward, because that is the big game that life has in store for us.



♡ Thursday. Death. Times change. So you weren’t prepared. You get another day to figure things out and work a new alternative out. In times of change, remember that there are also new things coming your way even if it sucks.

♡ Friday. The Hanged Man. Time seems to slow down after a difficult change. Things are left hanging, but in doing so, we get another perspective. An outside look into a problem we are immersed in can be refreshing. There is no better time to redefine.

♡ Saturday. Strength. Sometimes life can be difficult. Are we closing the lion’s mouth? Are we in control of our problems and how they nag us? Sometimes it takes restraint not to say what you really think, especially when you think others need to hear it. But then you need to remember that just because you can doesn’t mean you should.



♡ Sunday. Ace of Cups. Embrace new love and faith. Allow yourself to share wholehearted experiences that make you resonate at a higher level. Seek out the emotional bonds that help you feel like a better person. Look for solace in things that cheer you up and keep you motivated. They will propel you forward.

♡ What to avoid. Judgment. Don’t take any risks this week. Seem to keep outside difficult situations if you can. Don’t push the envelope, and accept that some things are out of your control because they come from a higher place. When you are in tune with your place in the world and the mission you have come to accomplish, you will find the call to action is not as jarring as you would think.

♡ What to strive for. Page of Coins. Little progress is a key to bigger futures. Have pride in your work and present it in the best way possible because that is precisely what helps you stand out from other people and how they perceive you. Never forget you are one with purpose and you will get the chance to carry out your purpose.



♡ Clarifier. The Lovers. It is all a blessing in disguise. Remember that all is connected, and you are not the exception. Accept that which is given to you and watch it multiply into a series of things you have been trying to attract to your life. Say yes to life.

What a powerful message.
♡♡

IAMX OCTOBER RESIDENCY AT COMPLEX

I missed the IAMX concert when they played at the Fonda Teathre on May 15th, 2013. It was so hard for me because I was dreaming of seeing them live with J. We had plans to find tickets and go see them together. The concert happened while I was taking care of my Mom in the hospital. The date passed and I knew I had missed out on something special.

IAMX came into my life when J recommended them to me. He told me Chris Corner was also in the Sneaker Pimps. All it took was one song to get me hooked; we would listen to it in the car or when we hung out, while having dinner, and sometimes before bed. The music is very loaded and the lyrics are heavy; to me the music is a tasteful activist. The night of the concert, I thought of J through every song, especially the ones with shared memories. I know he would have given anything to be there with us, but in truth he was there in spirit. I felt him through those songs. I know he was.

I bought my tickets for the Complex residency event the same day they came on sale. All of my friends got tickets, and I also got one for my Mom. It was to be her first time at a goth club, which seemed fitting to me considering she would see a prominent figure in the world of dark romance.

It was sold out very fast, with people still posting many adverts to find somebody to sell them spare tickets. My friends and I started to discuss the event, and in our anticipation dubbed it as our "prom night". And why not? Prom is supposed to be fun, a debut from one stage of life into another. We all remember our prom night as varying absences or train wrecks, so there it was: one night of magic that we could all celebrate together with one of our favorite musicians. We all went to the IAMX night at the Monte Cristo and had an amazing time dancing to IAMX and Sneaker Pimps, but getting to see the show live was so much more magical.





                          

                           

                          


The experience itself was magic from the moment IAMX came on stage. The buzz and the excitement grew according to how full the venue was. By the time the lights turned off and our eyes turned to the stage, we were all jam packed in the Complex. When Chris Corner came out, we screamed in unison. During the concert, we were transported to another dimension full of emotive lyrics that rattled the very fabric of our existence. There as a unanimous sense of ecstasy that was so contagious. My friends and I had found a spot all together, and danced the night away in passion. The show is fantastic! The visuals aid the experience, but Chris, Janine and Sammi Doll's energy is what really makes it. They know we love them madly. I'm sure they could feel the love that was radiating from the crowd. They gave us so much love, too!



                                   


And so ends the Complex residency... for now. To my understanding, they may come back and do it again. Bring the magic back!
♡♡

HELLO WITCHES Nº109

Have you missed me like I have missed you?

I’ve been away for some time because my Mom came to visit me in Los Angeles. The last two weeks have been very comforting, I can’t tell you what a difference it makes to be around someone who has known me all of my life. My Mom and I have a very special bond together, I think that it shows in plain sight. Hopefully I can get some photos organized to share some of the wonders I have experienced: my 26th birthday, seeing IAMX live, seeing U rilia live three times, and spending time with some really beautiful people.

Within one month's time I will be making my way back to Puerto Rico to spend the holidays with family. As the year draws to a close, I am finally going to patch things up with my Aunt and I am also going to participate in the first all-inclusive family dinner since... 2008? It's a big step for me.

Today I am using a brand new deck. While I am not seeing much chemistry from card to card, I still think that they are quite beautiful, and I am still going to weave them into a story for the blog. I feel like some of the cards aren't coming alive for me as I would like for them to, but I am going to use it a few more times... for myself and for clients. We'll see how that goes.



♡ Monday. Ace of Wands. The week gets started off with abundance of energy and motivation. It gets started off with a pure surge of energy to fuel an event or a passion. I sense that since the wand looks like a magic staff, this entails making magic with your passion or springing ideas into being.

♡ Tuesday. Six of Cups. It is so easy to get caught up romanticizing the past and being chained to it. Inability to move on renders us into a state of paralysis. We know when things change it is to set others free at our own expense sometimes, but we can’t be greedy. We must honor others as we would do ourselves.

As an advocate of idealizing the past, I think though that we are all entitled to feel as we like. My past is responsible for who I am now, and I am not willing to let it go away. Ever.

♡ Wednesday. Two of Swords. Communication seems a little stuck and it even makes the environment feel this way too. I am seeing graves, tombstones and mist. I feel like things are murky in this card, and it could just add to the message. If we don’t express ourselves clearly, we might come to face that we have been making our days more cloudy because of it.



♡ Thursday. Ace of Swords. Clarity comes when you express yourself directly and without any doubt. When you cut through the mist and the uncertainty, you come to rest upon a beacon of light in times of doubt. It is certainly empowering to find the power of your voice and how to stand up for yourself with it.

♡ Friday. King of Wands. He doesn’t look very happy to me, but he sits on his throne with dignity. He has hi iguana perched on his shoulder like a trusty companion that will go back and forth bringing him news. The sun seems to be setting in this card. There is intense energy and emotion portrayed, but no oracular meaning coming to me from this card.

♡ Saturday. King of Coins. This one balances his work proudly on his lap. He has made it, built his life up to where he wants it to be and now he sits at his throne and supervises it. When we have a labor of love, though, it needs maintenance. We can’t just let it live out on its own without expecting it to need reinforcements.



♡ Sunday. The Lovers. A time away from everything, to enjoy a sense of connection and companionship. When you discuss connections with yourself on the inside, do you like what you see? Do you like the reflections you are giving out onto others? You have to, because you are all you’ve got. The relationships you invest yourself in will be giving you as much as you give them too.

♡ What to avoid. Ten of Wands. Try not to overload yourself. Try not to make yourself go on journeys you are not ready to go. If something is out of proportion and it towers over you, then you are not yet ready to proceed. If you are tired, rest. If you don’t feel good about something, avoid it. It isn’t necessary to take onto yourself trouble.

♡ What to strive for. The Empress. Be firm, be graceful and don’t abuse your power. Learn from the mistakes you have made to get where you wanted to go and protect yourself from anything that may come to haunt you.

I have so much to write about. Stay tuned!
♡ ♡